title
James Sexton: Divorce Lawyer on Marriage, Relationships, Sex, Lies & Love | Lex Fridman Podcast #396

description
James Sexton is a divorce attorney and author. Please support this podcast by checking out our sponsors: - Eight Sleep: https://www.eightsleep.com/lex to get special savings - InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/lex to get 20% off - House of Macadamias: https://houseofmacadamias.com/lex and use code LEX to get 20% off first order - MasterClass: https://masterclass.com/lexpod to get 15% off - AG1: https://drinkag1.com/lex to get 1 month supply of fish oil TRANSCRIPT: https://lexfridman.com/james-sexton-transcript EPISODE LINKS: James's Twitter: https://twitter.com/nycdivorcelaw James's Instagram: https://instagram.com/nycdivorcelawyer James's Website: https://nycdivorces.com/our-attorneys How to Stay in Love (book): https://amzn.to/3t61uji If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late (audiobook): https://amzn.to/3PkVECg PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: https://lexfridman.com/podcast Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2lwqZIr Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2nEwCF8 RSS: https://lexfridman.com/feed/podcast/ Full episodes playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrAXtmErZgOdP_8GztsuKi9nrraNbKKp4 Clips playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrAXtmErZgOeciFP3CBCIEElOJeitOr41 OUTLINE: 0:00 - Introduction 2:34 - Why marriages fail 24:05 - Sex and fetishes 33:22 - Breakups 59:09 - Johnny Depp and Amber Heard 1:19:09 - Complicated divorce cases 1:25:55 - Cheating with the nanny 1:28:12 - Relationship advice 1:36:54 - Cost of divorce 1:58:45 - Prenups 2:13:06 - Cheating 2:20:50 - Open marriages and threesomes 2:33:38 - Sex and fighting 2:58:33 - Kevin Costner's divorce 3:08:17 - Lying 3:15:45 - Productivity 3:23:39 - Jiu Jitsu 3:32:11 - Sex, love, and marriage SOCIAL: - Twitter: https://twitter.com/lexfridman - LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lexfridman - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lexfridman - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lexfridman - Medium: https://medium.com/@lexfridman - Reddit: https://reddit.com/r/lexfridman - Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lexfridman

detail
{'title': 'James Sexton: Divorce Lawyer on Marriage, Relationships, Sex, Lies & Love | Lex Fridman Podcast #396', 'heatmap': [], 'summary': 'Features discussions on healthy relationships, choosing love, love and relationships, trials and loss, various relationship dynamics, divorce insights, co-parenting, costs and infidelity impact, negotiation and defining love, argument enjoyment, legal persuasion, family law challenges, managing marital finances, and the impact of love on human behavior.', 'chapters': [{'end': 1049.978, 'segs': [{'end': 379.38, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 358.269, 'weight': 1, 'content': [{'end': 368.896, 'text': 'when you first knew the disconnection has begun is when he stopped buying my favorite granola or when she stopped giving blowjobs.', 'start': 358.269, 'duration': 10.627}, {'end': 372.279, 'text': "I would say when it's reached a critical mass.", 'start': 369.277, 'duration': 3.002}, {'end': 373.937, 'text': 'Yeah, phase shift.', 'start': 372.836, 'duration': 1.101}, {'end': 379.38, 'text': 'Because I think it started before that when she said, yeah, I used to give him blowjobs,', 'start': 374.257, 'duration': 5.123}], 'summary': 'Disconnection noticed when favorite granola not bought, blowjobs stopped, indicating critical phase shift.', 'duration': 21.111, 'max_score': 358.269, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY358269.jpg'}, {'end': 822.595, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 794.099, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 799.476, 'text': 'especially like intellectual questions like, uh, what do you think about the war in ukraine?', 'start': 794.099, 'duration': 5.377}, {'end': 808.323, 'text': "or something, and then the partner is talking and the other, the other person, is looking at them as if they're hearing the wisest thing.", 'start': 799.476, 'duration': 8.847}, {'end': 813.968, 'text': "yeah, ever, like they're, they're still looking at them, not waiting for their turn to speak,", 'start': 808.323, 'duration': 5.645}, {'end': 822.595, 'text': "not thinking about how's the audience going to take that, but they're looking at them like God damn, I'm so lucky to be with this smart motherfucker.", 'start': 813.968, 'duration': 8.627}], 'summary': "People value intellectual conversations, admiring partners' wisdom, not waiting to speak.", 'duration': 28.496, 'max_score': 794.099, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY794099.jpg'}], 'start': 0.149, 'title': 'Healthy relationships and marital dynamics', 'summary': 'Emphasizes the toxic nature of criticizing partners and the importance of supporting them, citing successful relationships. it also discusses disconnection as the leading cause of marital failure and the importance of feeling loved through small gestures and honest communication.', 'chapters': [{'end': 153.651, 'start': 0.149, 'title': 'Healthy relationships: cheering for your partner', 'summary': "Emphasizes the toxic nature of criticizing partners and the importance of supporting and cheering for them, citing successful relationships where partners have each other's backs and do not engage in negative talk about each other.", 'duration': 153.502, 'highlights': ["Successful relationships involve partners cheering for each other and having each other's backs, creating a feeling of unity and support. The successful relationships I've seen are where people are just cheering for their partner, where they are thick as thieves, where there is just this feeling of like man. they like each other. Like, they got each other's back like you wouldn't believe.", "Criticizing partners and engaging in negative talk about them is toxic and sends a harmful message about how to relate to a partner. The chapter emphasizes the toxic nature of criticizing partners and the importance of supporting and cheering for them, citing successful relationships where partners have each other's backs and do not engage in negative talk about each other.", 'The speaker expresses the detrimental impact of cultural encouragement to criticize people and the need for partners to support and uplift each other instead. The speaker highlights the toxic cultural encouragement to criticize people and advocates for partners to support and uplift each other instead, highlighting the damaging nature of constant criticism in the world.']}, {'end': 418.112, 'start': 154.898, 'title': 'Reasons for marital disconnection', 'summary': 'Discusses the main reason for marital failure, emphasizing disconnection as the leading cause, which can be attributed to a multitude of small factors that slowly accumulate over time, culminating in significant issues. it also delves into the complexities of marital dynamics and the nuances of presenting divorce cases in court.', 'duration': 263.214, 'highlights': ['Disconnection as the main reason for marital failure The chapter highlights disconnection as the primary cause of marital failure, attributing it to a multitude of small factors that accumulate over time.', 'Complexities of marital dynamics and divorce cases The conversation delves into the multivariate nature of marital dynamics and the intricacies of presenting divorce cases in court, emphasizing the need to consider both sides of the story and the nuances of weaponizing intimacy in a legal setting.', 'Impact of small factors on marital disconnection The discussion delves into the impact of seemingly insignificant factors, such as granola and blowjobs, on marital disconnection, highlighting how these small elements can contribute to the gradual erosion of intimacy and connection in a relationship.']}, {'end': 1049.978, 'start': 418.312, 'title': 'Understanding love in relationships', 'summary': 'Discusses the importance of feeling loved in a relationship through small gestures and honest communication, emphasizing the toxic impact of cultural criticism on long-term relationships and the significance of adoration in successful partnerships.', 'duration': 631.666, 'highlights': ['The toxic impact of cultural criticism on long-term relationships is emphasized, highlighting the significance of adoration in successful partnerships and the importance of honest communication. Significance of adoration in successful partnerships, toxic impact of cultural criticism on long-term relationships, importance of honest communication.', 'The importance of feeling loved in a relationship through small gestures and honest communication is discussed. Importance of feeling loved in a relationship through small gestures and honest communication.', 'The significance of understanding the currents of a partner and engaging in fearless communication is emphasized. Significance of understanding the currents of a partner, engaging in fearless communication.']}], 'duration': 1049.829, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY149.jpg', 'highlights': ["Successful relationships involve partners cheering for each other and having each other's backs, creating a feeling of unity and support.", 'Disconnection is highlighted as the primary cause of marital failure, attributing it to a multitude of small factors that accumulate over time.', 'The importance of feeling loved in a relationship through small gestures and honest communication is discussed.']}, {'end': 1902.89, 'segs': [{'end': 1422.718, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 1386.45, 'weight': 1, 'content': [{'end': 1389.812, 'text': "The only two people that should worry about how much sex you're having are the two people.", 'start': 1386.45, 'duration': 3.362}, {'end': 1391.933, 'text': 'If the two people are happy in the relationship, great.', 'start': 1389.852, 'duration': 2.081}, {'end': 1392.713, 'text': 'Then what does it matter??', 'start': 1392.093, 'duration': 0.62}, {'end': 1394.174, 'text': 'What does it matter what everybody else is doing?', 'start': 1392.733, 'duration': 1.441}, {'end': 1399.022, 'text': 'Yeah, there should be an element to great relationships and great friendships of like fuck the world.', 'start': 1394.619, 'duration': 4.403}, {'end': 1400.283, 'text': "It's us versus the world.", 'start': 1399.142, 'duration': 1.141}, {'end': 1401.043, 'text': "It's us.", 'start': 1400.663, 'duration': 0.38}, {'end': 1401.404, 'text': "It's us.", 'start': 1401.063, 'duration': 0.341}, {'end': 1406.487, 'text': "And that's what I mean when I say that thick as thieves, like when they're like a unit like that.", 'start': 1401.904, 'duration': 4.583}, {'end': 1408.248, 'text': "Because look, it's just us.", 'start': 1406.527, 'duration': 1.721}, {'end': 1409.369, 'text': "It's just what we want.", 'start': 1408.548, 'duration': 0.821}, {'end': 1410.209, 'text': "It's what we like.", 'start': 1409.389, 'duration': 0.82}, {'end': 1415.653, 'text': "And that's why I said, even when it comes to sex or things like that,", 'start': 1410.55, 'duration': 5.103}, {'end': 1422.718, 'text': "if you can't be candid with your partner about whatever weird shit you're into or what fantasy you had in any particular.", 'start': 1415.653, 'duration': 7.065}], 'summary': "Focus on the happiness of the two people in the relationship, not others' opinions or standards.", 'duration': 36.268, 'max_score': 1386.45, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY1386450.jpg'}, {'end': 1821.772, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 1751.965, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 1763.399, 'text': "Okay, well, now see, I genuinely believe that this you know, i i'm.", 'start': 1751.965, 'duration': 11.434}, {'end': 1769.52, 'text': "i'm very conflicted in my religious faith, but i i don't know that i believe in the devil.", 'start': 1763.399, 'duration': 6.121}, {'end': 1778.263, 'text': "but if there was a devil, i think his principal function would be to convince us that we are so bestial that god couldn't love us.", 'start': 1769.52, 'duration': 8.743}, {'end': 1783.625, 'text': "it would be to convince us that we're awful and that we should just lean into the awfulness.", 'start': 1778.263, 'duration': 5.362}, {'end': 1791.046, 'text': 'and i know the the greatest low points of my life came whenever I just went.', 'start': 1783.625, 'duration': 7.421}, {'end': 1792.927, 'text': "you know what I'm just awful.", 'start': 1791.046, 'duration': 1.881}, {'end': 1794.488, 'text': 'I might as well just behave awfully.', 'start': 1793.007, 'duration': 1.481}, {'end': 1813.409, 'text': 'And I really believe that when you push down parts of yourself like your sexuality, like your insecurities,', 'start': 1795.629, 'duration': 17.78}, {'end': 1821.772, 'text': "your true feelings from your romantic partner, the person who's supposed to be your number one,", 'start': 1813.409, 'duration': 8.363}], 'summary': "Devil's function is to convince us of our awfulness, leading to low points in life.", 'duration': 69.807, 'max_score': 1751.965, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY1751965.jpg'}], 'start': 1050.018, 'title': 'Choosing love, mindfulness, and relationship dynamics', 'summary': "Emphasizes conscious choice in relationships, 'us versus the world' mentality, undisclosed fetishes' impact, the importance of vulnerability and honesty, with examples from popular culture, personal reflections, a divorce lawyer's perspective, and client experiences.", 'chapters': [{'end': 1444.613, 'start': 1050.018, 'title': 'Choosing love and mindfulness in relationships', 'summary': "Emphasizes the conscious choice of seeing beauty in relationships, comparing it to the natural affection for pets and children, and advocates for an 'us versus the world' mentality in relationships, backed by examples from popular culture and personal reflections.", 'duration': 394.595, 'highlights': ['Choosing to see beauty in relationships is a conscious practice that initially requires effort and mindfulness, but eventually becomes natural. The speaker emphasizes the conscious choice of approaching life and relationships with mindfulness, stating that it may initially require effort but eventually becomes natural.', 'Comparing the natural affection for pets and children to the deliberate effort needed in romantic relationships. The speaker compares the natural affection people have for their pets and children to the deliberate effort required in romantic relationships, highlighting the visceral nature of the former and the need for conscious practice in the latter.', "Advocating for an 'us versus the world' mentality in relationships, encouraging candidness and acceptance of each other's quirks and fantasies. The speaker advocates for an 'us versus the world' mentality in relationships, encouraging candidness and acceptance of each other's quirks and fantasies, while dismissing the influence of external comparisons on relationship satisfaction."]}, {'end': 1902.89, 'start': 1444.733, 'title': 'Foot fetishes and relationship dynamics', 'summary': "Discusses the impact of undisclosed fetishes on relationships, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability and honesty, as well as the consequences of hiding one's true self, with insights from a divorce lawyer's perspective and examples of clients' experiences.", 'duration': 458.157, 'highlights': ['The consequences of undisclosed fetishes impact relationships, leading to betrayal, distance, and potential divorce. The chapter discusses how undisclosed fetishes can lead to betrayal and distance in relationships, potentially resulting in divorce.', 'The importance of vulnerability and honesty in relationships is highlighted, with emphasis on being true to oneself and avoiding hiding aspects from a partner. The chapter emphasizes the significance of vulnerability and honesty in relationships, encouraging individuals to be true to themselves and avoid hiding aspects from their partners.', "Insights from a divorce lawyer's perspective provide real-life examples of clients' experiences with undisclosed fetishes and the impact on their relationships. The chapter presents insights from a divorce lawyer's perspective, offering real-life examples of clients' experiences with undisclosed fetishes and how it affects their relationships."]}], 'duration': 852.872, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY1050018.jpg', 'highlights': ['Choosing to see beauty in relationships is a conscious practice that initially requires effort and mindfulness, but eventually becomes natural.', "Advocating for an 'us versus the world' mentality in relationships, encouraging candidness and acceptance of each other's quirks and fantasies.", 'Comparing the natural affection for pets and children to the deliberate effort needed in romantic relationships.', 'The consequences of undisclosed fetishes impact relationships, leading to betrayal, distance, and potential divorce.', 'The importance of vulnerability and honesty in relationships is highlighted, with emphasis on being true to oneself and avoiding hiding aspects from a partner.', "Insights from a divorce lawyer's perspective provide real-life examples of clients' experiences with undisclosed fetishes and the impact on their relationships."]}, {'end': 3523.908, 'segs': [{'end': 2126.081, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 2102.352, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 2108.895, 'text': "Yeah It's interesting that you came to that not being a divorce lawyer because I've felt that way for a long time.", 'start': 2102.352, 'duration': 6.543}, {'end': 2114.273, 'text': 'I really try to say to my clients Like in the courtroom, at the negotiating table,', 'start': 2109.595, 'duration': 4.678}, {'end': 2120.377, 'text': 'I have a role to play where I have to be sort of like a pit bull or some kind of like a courtroom sociopath.', 'start': 2114.273, 'duration': 6.104}, {'end': 2123.5, 'text': "But behind closed doors, like I'm very candid with people.", 'start': 2120.498, 'duration': 3.002}, {'end': 2126.081, 'text': "I'm trying to be much more emotionally attuned with them.", 'start': 2123.54, 'duration': 2.541}], 'summary': 'Divorce lawyer balances aggressive courtroom demeanor with emotional attunement in private meetings.', 'duration': 23.729, 'max_score': 2102.352, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY2102352.jpg'}, {'end': 2781.102, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 2752.668, 'weight': 1, 'content': [{'end': 2755.551, 'text': 'I have a, I have a, will remain totally nameless.', 'start': 2752.668, 'duration': 2.883}, {'end': 2763.658, 'text': "I have a very powerful, wealthy, famous former client where there's a whole series of texts about is my dick weird?", 'start': 2755.631, 'duration': 8.027}, {'end': 2769.803, 'text': 'Which, by the way, I think the answer is is if you have to ask if you have a weird dick, the answer is probably yes.', 'start': 2765.779, 'duration': 4.024}, {'end': 2779.221, 'text': "Because I own one and I've never thought, is this weird? But the fact that you're having this discussion, like it's absurd.", 'start': 2769.923, 'duration': 9.298}, {'end': 2779.762, 'text': "It's hilarious.", 'start': 2779.281, 'duration': 0.481}, {'end': 2781.102, 'text': 'Like love is hilarious.', 'start': 2779.782, 'duration': 1.32}], 'summary': "Former client asked about 'weird' dick in text messages, illustrating absurdity of love", 'duration': 28.434, 'max_score': 2752.668, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY2752668.jpg'}, {'end': 2846.801, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 2818.671, 'weight': 3, 'content': [{'end': 2821.754, 'text': "It's like, forget last week.", 'start': 2818.671, 'duration': 3.083}, {'end': 2824.996, 'text': 'Just look at your Google searches last week.', 'start': 2822.054, 'duration': 2.942}, {'end': 2826.457, 'text': "And you're like, wait a minute.", 'start': 2825.036, 'duration': 1.421}, {'end': 2830.08, 'text': 'What?? Why did you just search for this thing??', 'start': 2827.358, 'duration': 2.722}, {'end': 2832.898, 'text': 'right, 50 times right.', 'start': 2831.438, 'duration': 1.46}, {'end': 2833.679, 'text': 'like why did?', 'start': 2832.898, 'duration': 0.781}, {'end': 2835.479, 'text': 'why did the karate kid three pop?', 'start': 2833.679, 'duration': 1.8}, {'end': 2836.519, 'text': 'yeah, exactly what.', 'start': 2835.479, 'duration': 1.04}, {'end': 2839.3, 'text': "why? and like, you're like where's ralph macchio now?", 'start': 2836.519, 'duration': 2.781}, {'end': 2840.58, 'text': 'and where did, who is he dating?', 'start': 2839.3, 'duration': 1.28}, {'end': 2842.62, 'text': 'yeah, uh, wise, and then mother, and then yeah.', 'start': 2840.58, 'duration': 2.04}, {'end': 2844.561, 'text': "and then you're like a restaurant nearby.", 'start': 2842.62, 'duration': 1.941}, {'end': 2846.801, 'text': 'like how did i go from this to that?', 'start': 2844.561, 'duration': 2.24}], 'summary': "Confusion over repeated searches for 'karate kid 3' and unrelated topics on google last week.", 'duration': 28.13, 'max_score': 2818.671, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY2818671.jpg'}, {'end': 3312.439, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 3284.95, 'weight': 2, 'content': [{'end': 3287.673, 'text': 'But lawyers think like detail.', 'start': 3284.95, 'duration': 2.723}, {'end': 3290.957, 'text': 'And why would you write that down?', 'start': 3287.693, 'duration': 3.264}, {'end': 3293.946, 'text': 'Like you know, writing it down like.', 'start': 3292.025, 'duration': 1.921}, {'end': 3297.009, 'text': 'would you write it down and would you put it on a billboard in Times Square??', 'start': 3293.946, 'duration': 3.063}, {'end': 3303.373, 'text': "Because, like that's, everything you say on Facebook or Instagram can and will be used against you in a court of law.", 'start': 3297.029, 'duration': 6.344}, {'end': 3305.895, 'text': 'Like every photo you post.', 'start': 3303.633, 'duration': 2.262}, {'end': 3310.678, 'text': "I mean, that's going on with what's his name? Jake Paul or whatever.", 'start': 3306.275, 'duration': 4.403}, {'end': 3312.439, 'text': 'Paul and Dylan Dannis right now.', 'start': 3310.718, 'duration': 1.721}], 'summary': 'Beware: everything on social media can be used in court.', 'duration': 27.489, 'max_score': 3284.95, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY3284950.jpg'}], 'start': 1902.89, 'title': 'Love and relationships', 'summary': 'Delves into vulnerability in jujitsu and love, rethinks relationships as significant life chapters, explores the complexity of love and betrayal, and discusses the risks of text communication, advocating for embracing vulnerability and radical empathy.', 'chapters': [{'end': 2245.033, 'start': 1902.89, 'title': 'The courage of love', 'summary': 'Discusses the concept of vulnerability in jujitsu and love, highlighting the importance of embracing vulnerability and appreciating the good moments in relationships, emphasizing the need to end relationships on a positive note.', 'duration': 342.143, 'highlights': ['The importance of vulnerability in jujitsu and love, creating opportunities and progress by embracing vulnerabilities. Emphasizes the necessity of creating vulnerabilities to make progress and move positions in jujitsu and relationships.', 'The courage and bravery in love, emphasizing the need to embrace fear and take the leap of vulnerability. States that love is tremendously courageous and only brave when one is scared, highlighting the need to face fear in love and relationships.', 'The significance of appreciating good times in relationships and ending them positively to cherish the beautiful moments. Stresses the importance of appreciating the good times in relationships and ending them positively to remember the beautiful moments shared.']}, {'end': 2769.803, 'start': 2245.053, 'title': 'Rethinking relationships: chapters in a book', 'summary': 'Emphasizes rethinking relationships as significant chapters in life, challenging the binary view of success or failure, and advocating for radical empathy in understanding complexities of relationships and infidelity.', 'duration': 524.75, 'highlights': ['Rethinking relationships as significant chapters in life, challenging the binary view of success or failure The speaker challenges the binary view of relationships, advocating for viewing them as chapters in a book, each with significance, and questions the cultural narrative of success or failure in relationships.', "Advocating for radical empathy in understanding complexities of relationships and infidelity The speaker emphasizes the need for radical empathy in understanding the complexities of relationships and infidelity, highlighting the importance of seeing beyond the roles of 'victims' and 'perpetrators' and acknowledging the intricate intentions and outcomes of individuals.", "Memory's kind nature and its impact on relationships The speaker reflects on how memory can be kind, fading negative experiences and emphasizing positive memories, suggesting the application of this principle to relationships and infidelity."]}, {'end': 3207.436, 'start': 2769.923, 'title': 'Complexity of love and betrayal in relationships', 'summary': 'Explores the complexity of love and betrayal in relationships, delving into the bizarre and hilarious aspects of love, the impact of infidelity on divorce proceedings, and the power of owning up to faults in relationships.', 'duration': 437.513, 'highlights': ["Infidelity and its impact on divorce proceedings are discussed, including the need to prove wasteful dissipation of marital assets and the legal implications of spending money on a paramour. Infidelity's effect on divorce proceedings, proving wasteful dissipation of marital assets, legal implications of spending money on a paramour", 'The importance of owning up to faults in relationships and the impact it can have on credibility and legal proceedings. Impact of owning up to faults in relationships, credibility in legal proceedings', 'The discussion of text message authentication in legal proceedings and the significance of owning up to the content of messages, impacting the cross-examination process. Text message authentication in legal proceedings, impact on cross-examination, significance of owning up to message content']}, {'end': 3523.908, 'start': 3207.656, 'title': 'Text communication risks', 'summary': 'Discusses the risks and vulnerabilities of text communication, including its potential for misinterpretation, emotional venting, and evidentiary impact, while emphasizing the importance of non-verbal cues and nuances in communication.', 'duration': 316.252, 'highlights': ['Text communication can lead to misinterpretation and misrepresentation due to the lack of non-verbal cues and nuances, making it potentially risky and vulnerable. ', 'Individuals may use text communication as a means of emotional venting, expressing candid and passionate feelings, which can lead to potential misunderstandings and conflicts. ', 'From a legal perspective, text communication can have evidentiary impact and be subject to scrutiny, potentially influencing judgments and perceptions of individuals based on their written words. ', 'The chapter highlights the potential loss of nuance and humor in text communication, leading to misinterpretation and the need for additional tools such as emojis and memes to convey emotions and tone effectively. ']}], 'duration': 1621.018, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY1902890.jpg', 'highlights': ['The importance of vulnerability in jujitsu and love, creating opportunities and progress by embracing vulnerabilities.', 'Rethinking relationships as significant chapters in life, challenging the binary view of success or failure.', "Infidelity's effect on divorce proceedings, proving wasteful dissipation of marital assets, legal implications of spending money on a paramour.", 'Text communication can have evidentiary impact and be subject to scrutiny, potentially influencing judgments and perceptions of individuals based on their written words.']}, {'end': 4780.703, 'segs': [{'end': 3742.865, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 3703.294, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 3707.178, 'text': 'because again, no one engages in domestic violence with company over.', 'start': 3703.294, 'duration': 3.884}, {'end': 3710.762, 'text': "You know you don't like invite friends, like people always say Oh no, I saw them.", 'start': 3707.919, 'duration': 2.843}, {'end': 3711.743, 'text': 'They seem so happy.', 'start': 3710.782, 'duration': 0.961}, {'end': 3714.125, 'text': 'Like people always do this to me as a divorce lawyer.', 'start': 3711.803, 'duration': 2.322}, {'end': 3718.109, 'text': "They come in and they go, Well, here's photos of the kids, you know, smiling with me.", 'start': 3714.145, 'duration': 3.964}, {'end': 3720.291, 'text': "So that's proof that, like, I'm a good dad.", 'start': 3718.429, 'duration': 1.862}, {'end': 3724.515, 'text': "I mean, there's photos of Jeffrey Dahmer smiling with people he ate later.", 'start': 3720.311, 'duration': 4.204}, {'end': 3728.161, 'text': 'And you think these photos prove something?', 'start': 3725.7, 'duration': 2.461}, {'end': 3738.163, 'text': "I'm in the middle of a very complex domestic violence trial and the entire defense on the other side is well, we have photos of them on vacation,", 'start': 3730.501, 'duration': 7.662}, {'end': 3740.504, 'text': 'where they look very happy and she never called the cops.', 'start': 3738.163, 'duration': 2.341}, {'end': 3742.865, 'text': "That's no defense at all.", 'start': 3741.664, 'duration': 1.201}], 'summary': "Domestic violence cases can't be justified by happy photos or lack of police calls.", 'duration': 39.571, 'max_score': 3703.294, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY3703294.jpg'}, {'end': 3878.982, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 3851.968, 'weight': 3, 'content': [{'end': 3855.269, 'text': "She can't sleep, all this kind of stuff, which is fascinating.", 'start': 3851.968, 'duration': 3.301}, {'end': 3857.329, 'text': "I think that's a function of our professions.", 'start': 3855.449, 'duration': 1.88}, {'end': 3863.75, 'text': 'Even after 20 plus years of doing this, like the night before a trial, I can hardly sleep.', 'start': 3859.289, 'duration': 4.461}, {'end': 3866.891, 'text': 'Excitement, fear? Yes, yes.', 'start': 3864.81, 'duration': 2.081}, {'end': 3869.311, 'text': 'Okay All of that, all of that.', 'start': 3867.311, 'duration': 2}, {'end': 3878.982, 'text': 'And I even have moments as I, I pull up to the courthouse and I listen, I wear certain cuff links that are like my lucky cuff links or something.', 'start': 3870.072, 'duration': 8.91}], 'summary': 'Professionals experience sleeplessness due to excitement and fear before trials.', 'duration': 27.014, 'max_score': 3851.968, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY3851968.jpg'}, {'end': 4194.394, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 4162.917, 'weight': 1, 'content': [{'end': 4171.383, 'text': 'everything is being pressed to someone and with them like the warmth of human connection.', 'start': 4162.917, 'duration': 8.466}, {'end': 4181.328, 'text': 'One of the reasons I enjoy listening to your work and your perspective has always been that I think at the core, you see connection and love.', 'start': 4172.143, 'duration': 9.185}, {'end': 4194.394, 'text': 'And I think for me, from my earliest experiences with psychedelics at 16, 17, I was very attuned to that.', 'start': 4182.27, 'duration': 12.124}], 'summary': 'Perspective emphasizes connection and love, influenced by early experiences with psychedelics.', 'duration': 31.477, 'max_score': 4162.917, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY4162917.jpg'}], 'start': 3523.908, 'title': 'Trials, violence, passion, and loss', 'summary': 'Discusses public reactions to celebrity trials, complexities of domestic violence, passion for law and love, and embracing love and loss, emphasizing the impact on public figures, need for understanding, maintaining a positive public image, and embracing connections despite inevitable decay and loss.', 'chapters': [{'end': 3663.507, 'start': 3523.908, 'title': 'Celebrity trials and public image', 'summary': "Discusses the public's reaction to the johnny depp, amber heard trial, highlighting the flawed nature of public figures and the impact of airing personal issues in a legal battle.", 'duration': 139.599, 'highlights': ["The Johnny Depp, Amber Heard trial showcased the flawed nature of public figures, with both parties coming across as 'awful' in the courtroom.", 'The trial presented a raw and complicated portrayal of a relationship, revealing toxic moments and flawed behavior, causing public dismay.', 'The chapter emphasizes the negative impact of laying personal issues bare publicly, despite the potential monetary gain, as seen in the case of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.']}, {'end': 3826.543, 'start': 3664.528, 'title': 'Complexities of domestic violence', 'summary': 'Discusses the complexities of domestic violence cases, including false allegations, complexities and nuances of such cases, and the misconception that happy moments disprove abuse, emphasizing the need for understanding and sensitivity.', 'duration': 162.015, 'highlights': ["The misconception that happy moments disprove abuse is discussed, highlighting the need to understand that many victims of intimate partner abuse don't self-identify as victims and may have stretches of intense happiness (e.g. Most victims of intimate partner abuse don't call the cops).", 'The complexities and nuances of domestic violence cases, including differing histories of events, false allegations, and denial of true allegations, are emphasized, shedding light on the need for a deeper understanding of such cases.', 'The discussion on the misconceptions about domestic violence victims, including the fact that perpetrators of domestic violence can be charismatic, highlights the need for sensitivity and understanding in such cases.', 'The chapter emphasizes the misconception that happy moments disprove abuse, using examples to illustrate that such moments do not negate the existence of abuse (e.g. The defense in a domestic violence trial using vacation photos as proof of happiness as no defense at all).', 'The complexity and nuance of domestic violence cases, showcasing the existence of multiple sides and layers to such stories, is highlighted, emphasizing the need for a more comprehensive understanding of these situations.']}, {'end': 4289.858, 'start': 3827.225, 'title': 'Passion for law and love', 'summary': 'Delves into the passion and dedication of trial lawyers, highlighting the importance of maintaining a positive public image in relationships and the value of deep human connection, as expressed by the discussion between the speaker and the lawyer, with references to personal experiences and inspirational figures.', 'duration': 462.633, 'highlights': ["The speaker and lawyer express their deep passion for their work, with the lawyer's dedication evident in her stress and inability to sleep before a trial, emphasizing the intense emotional investment in their profession. Deep passion for work, lawyer's stress before trial, emotional investment in profession.", 'The speaker shares personal rituals and emotions related to entering the courtroom and the sense of ownership and love for the job, underlining the enduring love and enthusiasm for their profession. Personal rituals before trial, enduring love for the job.', "The discussion delves into the importance of maintaining a positive public image in relationships, referencing advice from Steve Harvey on resolving conflicts internally and the speaker's admiration for Joe Rogan's positive portrayal of his wife, emphasizing the impact of public perception on relationships. Importance of maintaining a positive public image in relationships, impact of public perception.", "The conversation explores the value of deep human connection, drawing from the speaker's experiences with psychedelics and emphasizing the core importance of empathy and connection in the speaker's profession. Value of deep human connection, core importance of empathy and connection in the speaker's profession."]}, {'end': 4780.703, 'start': 4290.098, 'title': 'Embracing love and loss', 'summary': "Explores the impermanence of love and the lessons learned from hospice volunteering, emphasizing the infinite capacity of the heart to love and the value of embracing connections despite inevitable decay and loss, as well as the significance of love and the lessons taught by dogs' finite lifespans, conveying the need for bravery and commitment in experiencing and embracing love amidst the complexities of human relationships.", 'duration': 490.605, 'highlights': ['The impermanence of love intensifies the feeling and allows for pure love without the drama, as learned from hospice volunteering.', 'The infinite capacity of the heart to love is emphasized through the experience of losing a beloved dog and realizing the possibility of loving again.', 'The significance of embracing connections despite inevitable decay and loss is highlighted through personal experiences and insights gained from hospice volunteering.', "The lessons taught by dogs' finite lifespans convey the need for bravery and commitment in experiencing and embracing love amidst the complexities of human relationships."]}], 'duration': 1256.795, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY3523908.jpg', 'highlights': ['The trial presented a raw and complicated portrayal of a relationship, revealing toxic moments and flawed behavior, causing public dismay.', 'The complexities and nuances of domestic violence cases, including differing histories of events, false allegations, and denial of true allegations, are emphasized, shedding light on the need for a deeper understanding of such cases.', "The speaker and lawyer express their deep passion for their work, with the lawyer's dedication evident in her stress and inability to sleep before a trial, emphasizing the intense emotional investment in their profession.", 'The significance of embracing connections despite inevitable decay and loss is highlighted through personal experiences and insights gained from hospice volunteering.']}, {'end': 6098.517, 'segs': [{'end': 5122.372, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 5097.413, 'weight': 15, 'content': [{'end': 5104.255, 'text': "What's much more interesting because, like you know, I don't get invited to a lot of parties, but when I get invited to parties,", 'start': 5097.413, 'duration': 6.842}, {'end': 5107.069, 'text': 'if somebody says what do you do for a living?', 'start': 5104.255, 'duration': 2.814}, {'end': 5108.311, 'text': "And I say I'm a divorce lawyer.", 'start': 5107.089, 'duration': 1.222}, {'end': 5110.274, 'text': 'And they go, oh my God, you must have stories.', 'start': 5108.331, 'duration': 1.943}, {'end': 5112.858, 'text': "That's the way everybody's, oh my God, you must have so many stories.", 'start': 5110.334, 'duration': 2.524}, {'end': 5116.87, 'text': 'And if I said yeah, there was this couple, and they, you know,', 'start': 5113.879, 'duration': 2.991}, {'end': 5122.372, 'text': 'slowly grew apart and then they decided that it would be good for them to end their relationship as a married couple,', 'start': 5116.87, 'duration': 5.502}], 'summary': 'Divorce lawyer gets invited to parties due to interesting stories from cases.', 'duration': 24.959, 'max_score': 5097.413, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY5097413.jpg'}, {'end': 5248.214, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 5223.055, 'weight': 18, 'content': [{'end': 5228.719, 'text': "So my words of wisdom is not don't get a nanny or make sure you get an ugly nanny.", 'start': 5223.055, 'duration': 5.664}, {'end': 5238.827, 'text': "My thought on it is that a woman should remember, even when she's a mother, that she's also a woman who a man, you know.", 'start': 5229.6, 'duration': 9.227}, {'end': 5246.433, 'text': 'they fell in love with each other, and she should take time to be in touch with the part of herself that is an independent woman.', 'start': 5238.827, 'duration': 7.606}, {'end': 5248.214, 'text': "that's interesting and interested.", 'start': 5246.433, 'duration': 1.781}], 'summary': 'Women should remember to prioritize their independence and individuality even after becoming mothers.', 'duration': 25.159, 'max_score': 5223.055, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY5223055.jpg'}, {'end': 5317.511, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 5292.106, 'weight': 5, 'content': [{'end': 5298.61, 'text': "So What would you say now on the flip positive side, we've been talking about the collapse of things.", 'start': 5292.106, 'duration': 6.504}, {'end': 5300.09, 'text': 'What about success??', 'start': 5299.01, 'duration': 1.08}, {'end': 5303.592, 'text': "What's the secret to a successful romantic relationship?", 'start': 5300.391, 'duration': 3.201}, {'end': 5309.856, 'text': "My mom used to say that it's hard to define intelligence, but you could spot stupid a mile away.", 'start': 5305.213, 'duration': 4.643}, {'end': 5317.511, 'text': "Yeah, So I'm much better at pointing out where people fall apart,", 'start': 5311.246, 'duration': 6.265}], 'summary': 'The discussion touches on the positive side, success, and the secret to a successful romantic relationship.', 'duration': 25.405, 'max_score': 5292.106, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY5292106.jpg'}, {'end': 5498.173, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 5383.768, 'weight': 1, 'content': [{'end': 5389.812, 'text': "Or you can have me for eight hours where I'm sort of half paying attention and I kind of want to be someplace else for part of the time.", 'start': 5383.768, 'duration': 6.044}, {'end': 5391.194, 'text': "There's just no choice there.", 'start': 5390.133, 'duration': 1.061}, {'end': 5392.154, 'text': "It's so obvious.", 'start': 5391.334, 'duration': 0.82}, {'end': 5396.457, 'text': 'So I think presence is a big piece.', 'start': 5392.935, 'duration': 3.522}, {'end': 5405.584, 'text': 'And I think that, I think the you, the me and the we, I think is important.', 'start': 5396.878, 'duration': 8.706}, {'end': 5412.002, 'text': "Because I think in relationships, There's you and there's me and we meet.", 'start': 5406.765, 'duration': 5.237}, {'end': 5418.503, 'text': 'And something magical happens, you know? And we become we.', 'start': 5413.322, 'duration': 5.181}, {'end': 5422.124, 'text': "And now there's you and there's me and there's we.", 'start': 5419.743, 'duration': 2.381}, {'end': 5426.225, 'text': 'And then the we gets bigger and bigger and bigger.', 'start': 5423.044, 'duration': 3.181}, {'end': 5428.785, 'text': "And isn't it great? Because it's such a nice warm place.", 'start': 5426.285, 'duration': 2.5}, {'end': 5430.586, 'text': 'It gets so big.', 'start': 5429.665, 'duration': 0.921}, {'end': 5436.607, 'text': 'But it gets so big that you get small and me gets small because we.', 'start': 5431.026, 'duration': 5.581}, {'end': 5442.351, 'text': 'And if any of us dares to ask, well, what about you? What about me? No, no, no, the we.', 'start': 5437.628, 'duration': 4.723}, {'end': 5445.873, 'text': "What, you don't like the we? You don't want to be with the we? Like, whoa, whoa, no, it's not that.", 'start': 5442.371, 'duration': 3.502}, {'end': 5450.236, 'text': 'But the we only exists because there was you and there was me.', 'start': 5446.613, 'duration': 3.623}, {'end': 5452.997, 'text': 'And I really like you and you really liked me.', 'start': 5450.256, 'duration': 2.741}, {'end': 5456.359, 'text': 'And so we picked each other out of lots of choices.', 'start': 5453.518, 'duration': 2.841}, {'end': 5463.704, 'text': 'And now this we is so fucking big, like it threatens to just consume all of it, you know?', 'start': 5457.3, 'duration': 6.404}, {'end': 5471.029, 'text': "And I really think that There's something there we have to look at more honestly.", 'start': 5464.024, 'duration': 7.005}, {'end': 5477.472, 'text': 'So we should not consume everything, but at the same time, not be small.', 'start': 5471.289, 'duration': 6.183}, {'end': 5480.133, 'text': 'Well, the we is the you and the me.', 'start': 5477.912, 'duration': 2.221}, {'end': 5493.177, 'text': "And if you mix it so much that you and me loses its components, that all that's left is we, I don't think that that's the way to do it.", 'start': 5480.373, 'duration': 12.804}, {'end': 5494.378, 'text': "I just think there's a..", 'start': 5493.618, 'duration': 0.76}, {'end': 5498.173, 'text': 'The world pulls us in that direction.', 'start': 5495.532, 'duration': 2.641}], 'summary': "Importance of presence in relationships, balancing 'you', 'me', and 'we', without losing individuality.", 'duration': 114.405, 'max_score': 5383.768, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY5383768.jpg'}, {'end': 5571.359, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 5542.219, 'weight': 7, 'content': [{'end': 5548.343, 'text': 'I mean, it can also be incredibly adventurous going out into the world by yourself and then coming back to the Wii with a full report.', 'start': 5542.219, 'duration': 6.124}, {'end': 5551.545, 'text': 'Yeah, You know, coming back and saying like oh my God, guess what I saw?', 'start': 5548.843, 'duration': 2.702}, {'end': 5552.146, 'text': 'Guess what I did?', 'start': 5551.605, 'duration': 0.541}, {'end': 5555.628, 'text': 'Oh my God, we have to go there together now, because all I could think about was you.', 'start': 5552.166, 'duration': 3.462}, {'end': 5558.37, 'text': 'Yeah You know, while I was there, I was like, oh my God, she would love this.', 'start': 5556.048, 'duration': 2.322}, {'end': 5560.611, 'text': "You know, like, that's magical.", 'start': 5558.61, 'duration': 2.001}, {'end': 5562.032, 'text': "That's amazing.", 'start': 5561.112, 'duration': 0.92}, {'end': 5564.054, 'text': 'Like, look what I brought you back.', 'start': 5562.292, 'duration': 1.762}, {'end': 5567.676, 'text': 'You know, I went into this and I got you this present from there.', 'start': 5564.634, 'duration': 3.042}, {'end': 5570.258, 'text': "Like, there's something, you know, and we know this.", 'start': 5567.836, 'duration': 2.422}, {'end': 5571.359, 'text': 'You know, I always..', 'start': 5570.418, 'duration': 0.941}], 'summary': 'Discussing the excitement of solo travel and sharing experiences, emphasizing the joy of bringing back memories and gifts to loved ones.', 'duration': 29.14, 'max_score': 5542.219, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY5542219.jpg'}, {'end': 5703.622, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 5673.802, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 5677.945, 'text': 'To be fair, that bar is reached with me with with a lot of people.', 'start': 5673.802, 'duration': 4.143}, {'end': 5680.607, 'text': "Like if you call me tomorrow, there's a body.", 'start': 5678.526, 'duration': 2.081}, {'end': 5682.889, 'text': "But you're a big open, big open heart.", 'start': 5680.808, 'duration': 2.081}, {'end': 5683.97, 'text': "But it's true.", 'start': 5683.149, 'duration': 0.821}, {'end': 5689.955, 'text': 'Like I wonder how many people out there are like that in terms of hiding the body.', 'start': 5683.99, 'duration': 5.965}, {'end': 5698.063, 'text': "I mean, my theory on this, because I think I'm like you in that way, I think I'm very sensitive.", 'start': 5690.635, 'duration': 7.428}, {'end': 5703.622, 'text': 'I feel things really deeply.', 'start': 5701.761, 'duration': 1.861}], 'summary': 'Many people are sensitive and hide their emotions deeply.', 'duration': 29.82, 'max_score': 5673.802, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY5673802.jpg'}, {'end': 5928.128, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 5896.748, 'weight': 9, 'content': [{'end': 5901.989, 'text': 'And what I find is their divorces are challenging.', 'start': 5896.748, 'duration': 5.241}, {'end': 5908.845, 'text': 'One, on a technical level, because figuring out what they have and how to divide it is tricky.', 'start': 5903.701, 'duration': 5.144}, {'end': 5909.625, 'text': 'Sure, yeah.', 'start': 5909.085, 'duration': 0.54}, {'end': 5918.931, 'text': "Because when something's moving that quickly, like when your portfolio's movement affects a market, that's challenging.", 'start': 5909.865, 'duration': 9.066}, {'end': 5926.957, 'text': "Jeff Bezos' divorce for a time, when it was in its early stages, could affect Amazon stock.", 'start': 5919.251, 'duration': 7.706}, {'end': 5928.128, 'text': 'It did.', 'start': 5927.768, 'duration': 0.36}], 'summary': "Divorces pose challenges in asset division and stock market impact. jeff bezos' divorce affected amazon stock.", 'duration': 31.38, 'max_score': 5896.748, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY5896748.jpg'}, {'end': 6076.387, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 6047.359, 'weight': 10, 'content': [{'end': 6053.304, 'text': 'what I always tell clients in the first consultation is, I tell them, the most reasonable question a person could ask me,', 'start': 6047.359, 'duration': 5.945}, {'end': 6058.129, 'text': 'sitting in that chair across from me, is two how long is this going to take and how much is it going to cost?', 'start': 6053.304, 'duration': 4.825}, {'end': 6060.19, 'text': "And those are the two questions I can't answer.", 'start': 6058.609, 'duration': 1.581}, {'end': 6064.054, 'text': 'And then the next thing they say is give me a range.', 'start': 6061.572, 'duration': 2.482}, {'end': 6070.845, 'text': 'Which is a bit like calling your doctor and saying, I have a headache.', 'start': 6065.543, 'duration': 5.302}, {'end': 6076.387, 'text': "What is it? Well, I can't tell you, I'd have to do tests.", 'start': 6071.806, 'duration': 4.581}], 'summary': 'Clients often ask about the time and cost, but providing a range is like diagnosing a headache without tests.', 'duration': 29.028, 'max_score': 6047.359, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY6047359.jpg'}], 'start': 4780.703, 'title': 'Various relationship dynamics', 'summary': 'Delves into complexities of custody battles, nanny stories and lessons from divorce, secrets of a successful relationship, the depth of male friendship, and navigating high-performing relationships, covering diverse family dynamics, co-parenting after divorce, elements of successful relationships, emotional vulnerability in friendships, and challenges of representing high net worth individuals in divorce cases.', 'chapters': [{'end': 5134.035, 'start': 4780.703, 'title': 'Complexities of custody battles', 'summary': "Discusses the complexities of custody battles, including diverse family dynamics, the shift in maternal presumption, and the challenges faced by judges, with most cases being negotiated amicably, involving decisions about children's upbringing and parenting responsibilities.", 'duration': 353.332, 'highlights': ['Maternal presumption and its shift in the 1980s The maternal presumption, also known as the tender years doctrine, was a law where a child under seven was presumed to be in the custody of the mother, unless proven unfit. This shifted in the 1980s, altering the dynamics of custody battles.', 'Complexities of determining a good parent The process of convincing a judge about being a better parent is subjective and emotionally complex, involving value judgments and varying perspectives, making it a challenging aspect of custody battles.', "Majority of custody cases being amicably negotiated The overwhelming majority of custody cases are negotiated between two parties, aiming to make decisions about children's upbringing, such as schooling, medication, and parenting schedules, with the primary focus being the well-being of the children involved.", 'Educating clients on changing perspectives A significant part of the role involves counseling clients to change their perspective, considering new traditions and shared parenting responsibilities, aiming to foster a positive co-parenting relationship despite the divorce, thereby ensuring the well-being of the children.', "Varied judicial approaches and perspectives Judges' approaches vary, with some being informed and interested in mental health research, while others may lack depth in their understanding, creating a diverse landscape for custody battles that can impact the outcome of the cases."]}, {'end': 5291.686, 'start': 5134.055, 'title': 'Nanny stories and lessons from divorce', 'summary': 'Discusses the fascination with nanny stories, including instances of infidelity and threesomes, and highlights the importance of maintaining individual identity within a marriage. additionally, it emphasizes the positive aspects of co-parenting after divorce, with the speaker sharing their own experience.', 'duration': 157.631, 'highlights': ['The importance of maintaining individual identity within a marriage is highlighted, emphasizing the need for women to remember their independence and interests, even after becoming mothers.', 'The positive aspects of co-parenting after divorce are emphasized, with the speaker sharing a wonderful experience of parenting and being divorced, highlighting the benefits of shared responsibilities and the opportunity for enjoyable free time.', 'Various captivating nanny stories are shared, including instances of infidelity, threesomes, and the wife and nanny leaving the husband, emphasizing the public fascination with such stories and their intriguing nature.']}, {'end': 5571.359, 'start': 5292.106, 'title': 'Secrets of a successful relationship', 'summary': "Discusses the key elements of successful romantic relationships, emphasizing the significance of presence, individuality, and shared experiences, while cautioning against losing oneself in the 'we'. it highlights the importance of giving undivided attention and fostering individual growth within the relationship.", 'duration': 279.253, 'highlights': ['The significance of presence and mindfulness in a romantic relationship is emphasized, where giving undivided attention for a shorter duration is preferred over half-hearted attention for a longer time.', "The concept of 'you, me, and we' in relationships is explored, highlighting the transformation from individuality to a shared identity, cautioning against losing individual components in favor of the collective 'we'.", "The importance of developing individual selves and experiencing personal adventures is stressed, advocating for the joy of being apart and reuniting to share unique experiences within the 'we' of the relationship.", 'The need for honest communication about the joy of being away from each other and the subsequent reunion is highlighted, challenging cultural norms and addressing personal insecurities within relationships.']}, {'end': 5748.296, 'start': 5572.039, 'title': 'The depth of male friendship', 'summary': 'Explores the depth of male friendship and its association with emotional vulnerability, expressing the importance of genuine connections and the willingness to go to extreme lengths for each other, while revealing the challenges of feeling deeply in a world filled with pain and betrayal.', 'duration': 176.257, 'highlights': ["The ideal male friendship is depicted as a willingness to go to extreme lengths for each other, exemplified by the scene in The Town where one friend says 'I need you to come with me. We're going to hurt some people and you never have to ask me about it again.'", 'The chapter discusses the challenges of feeling deeply in a world filled with pain and betrayal, highlighting the stages individuals may go through, from denying their feelings to eventually feeling the weight of it all.', "The speaker expresses the importance of genuine connections and emotional vulnerability in friendship, emphasizing the need for deeper definitions of friendship beyond surface-level interactions like having each other's cell phone numbers."]}, {'end': 6098.517, 'start': 5748.296, 'title': 'Navigating high-performing relationships', 'summary': 'Discusses the challenges of representing high net worth and high performing individuals in divorce cases, emphasizing the complexities and costs involved, as well as the impact of routine and control on high performers.', 'duration': 350.221, 'highlights': ['Representing high net worth and high performing individuals in divorce cases The speaker distinguishes between high net worth individuals and those who are self-made and high performing, highlighting the complexities involved in their divorces and the challenges in dividing assets.', 'Impact of routine and control on high performing individuals The chapter emphasizes the disruption caused by divorce to high performing individuals, who are accustomed to routine and control, and discusses the difficulty of relinquishing control in such situations.', 'Complexities and costs of divorce cases The speaker addresses the unpredictability of the duration and cost of divorce cases, likening it to the uncertainty in medical diagnoses, and highlights the challenges in providing a cost estimate for such cases.', 'Inability to buy resolution in custody cases The chapter discusses the inability to buy resolutions in custody cases, citing the prolonged custody disputes between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt as an example, which demonstrates that financial resources do not guarantee a swift resolution.', 'Challenges faced by high performing individuals in divorces The speaker describes the challenges faced by high performing individuals in divorces, highlighting their accustomed control and the difficulty of relinquishing it, as well as the inability to buy their way out of certain problems, drawing parallels to illness and legal cases.']}], 'duration': 1317.814, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY4780703.jpg', 'highlights': ['The maternal presumption shifted in the 1980s, altering custody battles dynamics.', 'Convincing a judge about being a better parent is emotionally complex.', 'The overwhelming majority of custody cases are negotiated between two parties.', 'Counseling clients to foster a positive co-parenting relationship is crucial.', "Judges' approaches vary, impacting the outcome of custody battles.", 'The importance of maintaining individual identity within a marriage is highlighted.', 'The positive aspects of co-parenting after divorce are emphasized.', 'Various captivating nanny stories are shared, emphasizing public fascination.', 'The significance of presence and mindfulness in a romantic relationship is emphasized.', "The concept of 'you, me, and we' in relationships is explored.", 'The importance of developing individual selves and experiencing personal adventures is stressed.', 'The need for honest communication about the joy of being away from each other is highlighted.', 'The ideal male friendship is depicted as a willingness to go to extreme lengths for each other.', 'The chapter discusses the challenges of feeling deeply in a world filled with pain and betrayal.', 'The importance of genuine connections and emotional vulnerability in friendship is emphasized.', 'The complexities involved in divorces of high net worth and high performing individuals are highlighted.', 'The disruption caused by divorce to high performing individuals is emphasized.', 'The unpredictability of the duration and cost of divorce cases is addressed.', 'The inability to buy resolutions in custody cases is discussed.', 'The challenges faced by high performing individuals in divorces are described.']}, {'end': 6909.94, 'segs': [{'end': 6283.112, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 6257.34, 'weight': 4, 'content': [{'end': 6262.764, 'text': "And I was like, all right, no, no, no, because I don't want you hot and upset and I don't want the boys, you know, to be in, like, of course.", 'start': 6257.34, 'duration': 5.424}, {'end': 6270.75, 'text': "And so I think, yeah, when you approach a conflict with, like, it's very hard to argue with someone who won't argue with you.", 'start': 6263.344, 'duration': 7.406}, {'end': 6277.63, 'text': "If the person approaches the argument from the point of view of like, I'm not gonna argue with you.", 'start': 6271.949, 'duration': 5.681}, {'end': 6279.831, 'text': "Like I'm gonna absorb your aggression.", 'start': 6277.85, 'duration': 1.981}, {'end': 6283.112, 'text': "I'm gonna just not meet it with that.", 'start': 6280.031, 'duration': 3.081}], 'summary': 'Approaching conflict with empathy can defuse tension and prevent escalation.', 'duration': 25.772, 'max_score': 6257.34, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY6257340.jpg'}, {'end': 6589.654, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 6564.579, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 6570.322, 'text': "So wouldn't you want your child, not your co-parent, who cares? Maybe you want them to have the worst birthday ever.", 'start': 6564.579, 'duration': 5.743}, {'end': 6572.923, 'text': "Fine, but you don't want your child to be embarrassed.", 'start': 6570.462, 'duration': 2.461}, {'end': 6575.304, 'text': 'And I even put in the provision.', 'start': 6573.723, 'duration': 1.581}, {'end': 6585.532, 'text': 'The parties acknowledge that it is the intention of this provision to ensure that the child is not embarrassed and feels that they were able to say.', 'start': 6576.107, 'duration': 9.425}, {'end': 6589.654, 'text': 'I cannot tell you how many people refuse to sign that.', 'start': 6585.532, 'duration': 4.122}], 'summary': 'Provision aims to prevent child embarrassment; many refuse to sign.', 'duration': 25.075, 'max_score': 6564.579, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY6564579.jpg'}, {'end': 6638.66, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 6607.74, 'weight': 3, 'content': [{'end': 6609.081, 'text': "Like it's a kid, they don't know.", 'start': 6607.74, 'duration': 1.341}, {'end': 6610.302, 'text': "They don't know what anything is.", 'start': 6609.101, 'duration': 1.201}, {'end': 6612.643, 'text': 'And people, nope.', 'start': 6611.282, 'duration': 1.361}, {'end': 6619.767, 'text': "And I have to tell you of the conundrums, of the puzzles that I can't figure out in existence.", 'start': 6612.803, 'duration': 6.964}, {'end': 6621.886, 'text': "That's when I can't figure.", 'start': 6620.905, 'duration': 0.981}, {'end': 6625.409, 'text': "I do not understand why that's so hard.", 'start': 6621.886, 'duration': 3.523}, {'end': 6632.755, 'text': "That's basically just an illustration of their complete inability to do anything nice for the other person.", 'start': 6625.749, 'duration': 7.006}, {'end': 6638.66, 'text': 'The level of hatred, the level of vitriol that they, like maybe this is me.', 'start': 6632.795, 'duration': 5.865}], 'summary': 'Struggle to understand existence, puzzles, and inability to do anything nice for others.', 'duration': 30.92, 'max_score': 6607.74, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY6607740.jpg'}], 'start': 6098.517, 'title': 'Divorce insights and co-parenting', 'summary': "Emphasizes the importance of positive conflict resolution and successful co-parenting, highlighting a least expensive divorce case costing $3,500 and the impact of parental alienation on children. it illustrates the significance of amicable co-parenting for the child's well-being and emphasizes the need for forgiveness in divorce proceedings.", 'chapters': [{'end': 6325.903, 'start': 6098.517, 'title': 'Divorce and positive conflict resolution', 'summary': 'Highlights the least expensive divorce case, costing $3,500, emphasizes the importance of positive conflict resolution, and illustrates successful co-parenting through a personal experience.', 'duration': 227.386, 'highlights': ['The least expensive divorce case costs $3,500. The speaker shares an example of a divorce case that cost $3,500, demonstrating a relatively low-cost scenario.', "Emphasizing the importance of positive conflict resolution and generosity during divorce. The story of a friend's divorce is shared, highlighting the significance of approaching divorce with generosity and love, rather than focusing on monetary gains.", 'Successful co-parenting and positive relationship with ex-spouse after divorce. The speaker recounts a personal experience of maintaining a friendly relationship with their ex-wife, emphasizing successful co-parenting and positive conflict resolution.']}, {'end': 6909.94, 'start': 6326.944, 'title': 'Co-parenting and divorce insights', 'summary': "Highlights the importance of co-parenting amicably for the well-being of the child, the challenges faced in divorce proceedings, and the impact of parental alienation on children, emphasizing the significance of forgiveness and amicable co-parenting for the child's sake.", 'duration': 582.996, 'highlights': ["The decisions made now have a direct impact on the future wedding of the child, emphasizing the importance of amicable co-parenting for the child's well-being. Impact of current decisions on future wedding, significance of amicable co-parenting.", "The unique stresses and relationships among divorce lawyers, likened to professional fighters, and the act of borrowing provisions from each other's work, shedding light on the complex dynamics of divorce proceedings. The unique stresses and relationships among divorce lawyers, borrowing provisions from each other's work.", "The author's provision related to ensuring the child's ability to give presents to the co-parent, revealing the challenges faced in getting this provision accepted and illustrating the level of animosity in divorce cases. Challenges in getting provision accepted, level of animosity in divorce cases.", 'The devastating impact of parental alienation on children and the difficulty in proving this subtle process in divorce cases, highlighting the lasting effects of co-parenting decisions on children. Devastating impact of parental alienation, difficulty in proving subtle processes in divorce cases.', 'The significance of forgiveness and the impact on personal well-being, emphasizing the importance of letting go of anger and finding gratitude as a source of forgiveness. Significance of forgiveness, impact on personal well-being.']}], 'duration': 811.423, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY6098517.jpg', 'highlights': ['The devastating impact of parental alienation on children and the difficulty in proving this subtle process in divorce cases, highlighting the lasting effects of co-parenting decisions on children.', 'The significance of forgiveness and the impact on personal well-being, emphasizing the importance of letting go of anger and finding gratitude as a source of forgiveness.', "The decisions made now have a direct impact on the future wedding of the child, emphasizing the importance of amicable co-parenting for the child's well-being.", "Emphasizing the importance of positive conflict resolution and generosity during divorce. The story of a friend's divorce is shared, highlighting the significance of approaching divorce with generosity and love, rather than focusing on monetary gains.", "The unique stresses and relationships among divorce lawyers, likened to professional fighters, and the act of borrowing provisions from each other's work, shedding light on the complex dynamics of divorce proceedings.", "The author's provision related to ensuring the child's ability to give presents to the co-parent, revealing the challenges faced in getting this provision accepted and illustrating the level of animosity in divorce cases.", 'Successful co-parenting and positive relationship with ex-spouse after divorce. The speaker recounts a personal experience of maintaining a friendly relationship with their ex-wife, emphasizing successful co-parenting and positive conflict resolution.', 'The least expensive divorce case costs $3,500. The speaker shares an example of a divorce case that cost $3,500, demonstrating a relatively low-cost scenario.']}, {'end': 8722.496, 'segs': [{'end': 6969.499, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 6941.4, 'weight': 14, 'content': [{'end': 6945.903, 'text': 'Yeah, And you were saying the cheapest one was the yellow paper?', 'start': 6941.4, 'duration': 4.503}, {'end': 6946.604, 'text': 'Yeah, yellow pad.', 'start': 6945.923, 'duration': 0.681}, {'end': 6948.265, 'text': 'two people came to an agreement.', 'start': 6946.604, 'duration': 1.661}, {'end': 6949.906, 'text': 'write it up, make it legally binding.', 'start': 6948.265, 'duration': 1.641}, {'end': 6951.727, 'text': 'five grand maybe tops.', 'start': 6949.906, 'duration': 1.821}, {'end': 6954.909, 'text': 'But usually 3,500, five grand, that kind of vibe.', 'start': 6952.427, 'duration': 2.482}, {'end': 6959.592, 'text': 'Most expensive, millions, millions in council fees.', 'start': 6955.79, 'duration': 3.802}, {'end': 6964.456, 'text': "And that's because of the duration, the complexity? Yeah, the duration, the complexity of issues.", 'start': 6960.313, 'duration': 4.143}, {'end': 6969.499, 'text': "Like I have clients who've paid two, three million in council fees to me.", 'start': 6964.836, 'duration': 4.663}], 'summary': 'Agreement reached for legal document, costs range from 3,500 to 5,000, with some cases involving millions in council fees.', 'duration': 28.099, 'max_score': 6941.4, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY6941400.jpg'}, {'end': 7276.554, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 7249.888, 'weight': 11, 'content': [{'end': 7256.752, 'text': "that at least they've acknowledged in their native language that there is some opportunity for this to be translated for them.", 'start': 7249.888, 'duration': 6.864}, {'end': 7257.493, 'text': "yeah, they're binding.", 'start': 7256.752, 'duration': 0.741}, {'end': 7259.894, 'text': "They're presumptively binding.", 'start': 7257.533, 'duration': 2.361}, {'end': 7266.458, 'text': 'We live, thankfully, in a culture where people are allowed to enter into contracts about money.', 'start': 7260.234, 'duration': 6.224}, {'end': 7276.554, 'text': "What are some prenups that you've seen that can be effective or that people converge towards?", 'start': 7267.168, 'duration': 9.386}], 'summary': 'Discussion about the acknowledgment of translation possibility and the effectiveness of prenups.', 'duration': 26.666, 'max_score': 7249.888, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY7249888.jpg'}, {'end': 7766.336, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 7735.615, 'weight': 10, 'content': [{'end': 7737.936, 'text': 'And I wondered if she did what a wrestler does.', 'start': 7735.615, 'duration': 2.321}, {'end': 7744.278, 'text': 'Did she bulk up right before and then cut when she eventually got divorced?', 'start': 7738.576, 'duration': 5.702}, {'end': 7746.238, 'text': 'Is she in there with sauna with the suit on?', 'start': 7744.318, 'duration': 1.92}, {'end': 7755.281, 'text': "And the appellate court essentially said I don't know why you married this person, having had them.", 'start': 7746.858, 'duration': 8.423}, {'end': 7757.162, 'text': "make you sign this, but it's binding.", 'start': 7755.281, 'duration': 1.881}, {'end': 7758.634, 'text': "But it's binding.", 'start': 7758.134, 'duration': 0.5}, {'end': 7760.475, 'text': 'I wish somebody would do a contract like that.', 'start': 7758.714, 'duration': 1.761}, {'end': 7766.336, 'text': 'Like the rent for this place would be more expensive if I was fatter and cheaper if I was skinnier.', 'start': 7760.655, 'duration': 5.681}], 'summary': 'Speculating about weight fluctuations in divorce settlements and questioning the binding nature of contracts.', 'duration': 30.721, 'max_score': 7735.615, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY7735615.jpg'}, {'end': 7997.561, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 7970.545, 'weight': 15, 'content': [{'end': 7977.271, 'text': "Man, at year 14 and six months, you gotta ask yourself some serious questions about where's this relationship gonna be in five, 10 years.", 'start': 7970.545, 'duration': 6.726}, {'end': 7977.911, 'text': "That's brilliant.", 'start': 7977.331, 'duration': 0.58}, {'end': 7980.533, 'text': "And that's why, kids, you pay for a lawyer.", 'start': 7978.192, 'duration': 2.341}, {'end': 7981.734, 'text': "That's it.", 'start': 7980.554, 'duration': 1.18}, {'end': 7983.096, 'text': 'We get paid to see around corners.', 'start': 7981.775, 'duration': 1.321}, {'end': 7984.777, 'text': 'I get paid to be paranoid.', 'start': 7983.436, 'duration': 1.341}, {'end': 7985.878, 'text': 'I tell people that all the time.', 'start': 7984.817, 'duration': 1.061}, {'end': 7988.176, 'text': 'Okay, so you mentioned infidelity.', 'start': 7986.235, 'duration': 1.941}, {'end': 7990.337, 'text': 'You write in the book, which everybody should get.', 'start': 7988.216, 'duration': 2.121}, {'end': 7991.098, 'text': "It's a great book.", 'start': 7990.437, 'duration': 0.661}, {'end': 7991.838, 'text': "It's a great read.", 'start': 7991.158, 'duration': 0.68}, {'end': 7993.219, 'text': "It's a window into your soul.", 'start': 7991.898, 'duration': 1.321}, {'end': 7997.561, 'text': "You, in this book, write that there's five kinds of infidelity.", 'start': 7993.999, 'duration': 3.562}], 'summary': 'Relationship assessment at 14.5 years, importance of legal counsel, and types of infidelity discussed in a book.', 'duration': 27.016, 'max_score': 7970.545, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY7970545.jpg'}, {'end': 8090.227, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 8060.117, 'weight': 1, 'content': [{'end': 8064.219, 'text': 'And we should also mention that you, you know, talk about Facebook and Instagram.', 'start': 8060.117, 'duration': 4.102}, {'end': 8064.659, 'text': 'Oh, yes.', 'start': 8064.259, 'duration': 0.4}, {'end': 8070.361, 'text': 'If we were going to invent an infidelity generating machine, it would be called Facebook, which, by the way,', 'start': 8064.999, 'duration': 5.362}, {'end': 8072.382, 'text': 'is a function of the fact the book was written in 2019..', 'start': 8070.361, 'duration': 2.021}, {'end': 8074.323, 'text': 'I would now change it to Instagram.', 'start': 8072.382, 'duration': 1.941}, {'end': 8076.044, 'text': 'Oh, because you said just Facebook.', 'start': 8074.703, 'duration': 1.341}, {'end': 8081.086, 'text': 'Yes But now if I had to rewrite it, it would be if we were going to invent an infidelity generating machine, it would be called Meta.', 'start': 8076.064, 'duration': 5.022}, {'end': 8082.959, 'text': 'That would be, there you go.', 'start': 8081.51, 'duration': 1.449}, {'end': 8084.468, 'text': 'Yeah Very tech forward.', 'start': 8083.059, 'duration': 1.409}, {'end': 8090.227, 'text': 'It was a function of what Facebook and I think Instagram also are,', 'start': 8085.205, 'duration': 5.022}], 'summary': 'Discussion on infidelity and social media, transitioning from facebook to meta and instagram.', 'duration': 30.11, 'max_score': 8060.117, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY8060117.jpg'}, {'end': 8202.983, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 8159.528, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 8168.147, 'text': "So when I talk about types of infidelity, the soulmate, the unexpected soulmate, this connection that you didn't expect.", 'start': 8159.528, 'duration': 8.619}, {'end': 8173.289, 'text': "I didn't expect to fall in love with this person, but I did and the heart wants what the heart wants and I'm sorry.", 'start': 8168.667, 'duration': 4.622}, {'end': 8175.51, 'text': "That one's tough.", 'start': 8174.69, 'duration': 0.82}, {'end': 8188.236, 'text': "That one's tough, because it's an interesting distinction between men and women to some degree that when a man finds out his wife was cheating,", 'start': 8176.191, 'duration': 12.045}, {'end': 8189.797, 'text': 'the question is did you fuck him??', 'start': 8188.236, 'duration': 1.561}, {'end': 8196.379, 'text': 'And when a woman finds out that a man cheated, the question is do you love her??', 'start': 8191.158, 'duration': 5.221}, {'end': 8198.962, 'text': 'And those are different things.', 'start': 8196.8, 'duration': 2.162}, {'end': 8202.983, 'text': 'I feel like there could be many and have been many books written on that.', 'start': 8199.322, 'duration': 3.661}], 'summary': 'Discussion on different types of infidelity and gender differences in response to cheating.', 'duration': 43.455, 'max_score': 8159.528, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY8159528.jpg'}, {'end': 8581.803, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 8555.074, 'weight': 9, 'content': [{'end': 8559.838, 'text': "the woman's on the stage and she walks past each person who does a little thing and then next person and then next little thing.", 'start': 8555.074, 'duration': 4.764}, {'end': 8566.462, 'text': "So when she's right in front of you, I like a woman's face and I like a woman's body.", 'start': 8560.798, 'duration': 5.664}, {'end': 8567.163, 'text': 'I like both of them.', 'start': 8566.562, 'duration': 0.601}, {'end': 8570.065, 'text': "So I'm looking at the woman's face and she's very beautiful.", 'start': 8567.923, 'duration': 2.142}, {'end': 8571.215, 'text': "but she's naked.", 'start': 8570.575, 'duration': 0.64}, {'end': 8572.897, 'text': "And I think, oh, she's naked.", 'start': 8571.576, 'duration': 1.321}, {'end': 8578.821, 'text': "I should be looking at her naked body because obviously that's like, it's almost rude not to, because she's naked in front of me, of course.", 'start': 8572.937, 'duration': 5.884}, {'end': 8581.803, 'text': "So then I'm looking at her naked body, which is lovely to look at.", 'start': 8579.181, 'duration': 2.622}], 'summary': 'A woman walks past each person on stage, admired for her beauty and nudity.', 'duration': 26.729, 'max_score': 8555.074, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY8555074.jpg'}], 'start': 6909.96, 'title': 'Costs, agreements, and impact of infidelity in relationships', 'summary': 'Delves into the wide range of costs in divorce proceedings, the significance of prenuptial agreements, the importance of structures and rules in various contexts, and the impact of social media on infidelity, shedding light on the complexities and potential pitfalls of non-monogamous relationships and marriage.', 'chapters': [{'end': 7115.873, 'start': 6909.96, 'title': 'Cost of divorce proceedings', 'summary': 'Discusses the wide range of costs in divorce proceedings, from a few thousand dollars to millions, influenced by factors such as complexity, duration, and the involvement of high net worth individuals.', 'duration': 205.913, 'highlights': ['Divorce costs can vary from a few thousand to millions, with factors like complexity and duration playing a significant role.', 'Clients have paid two to three million in council fees, often due to complex custody issues requiring expert testimony and emergency circumstances, such as international child abduction cases.', 'The involvement of high net worth individuals in divorce proceedings, with complex financial cases involving the hiding and movement of money, and the use of structures for tax planning purposes.']}, {'end': 7643.94, 'start': 7115.873, 'title': 'The importance of prenuptial agreements', 'summary': 'Discusses the importance of prenuptial agreements, highlighting that they are legally binding, provide clarity on asset distribution, and encourage open communication between spouses, emphasizing the need to normalize prenups.', 'duration': 528.067, 'highlights': ['Prenuptial agreements are legally binding if crafted correctly and require minimal asset disclosure and language proficiency, providing clarity on asset distribution in the event of a divorce. Prenups are legally binding if crafted correctly and require minimal asset disclosure and language proficiency, providing clarity on asset distribution in the event of a divorce.', 'Prenuptial agreements encourage open communication between spouses regarding financial matters and asset ownership, fostering a proactive approach to financial planning within marriage. Prenups encourage open communication between spouses regarding financial matters and asset ownership, fostering a proactive approach to financial planning within marriage.', 'The importance of normalizing prenuptial agreements is emphasized, highlighting that there is no reason not to have one and comparing it to having a seat belt in a car, emphasizing its necessity as a precautionary measure. The importance of normalizing prenuptial agreements is emphasized, highlighting that there is no reason not to have one and comparing it to having a seat belt in a car, emphasizing its necessity as a precautionary measure.', 'Prenuptial agreements are compared to life insurance and wills, emphasizing that they do not signify a lack of trust or commitment, but rather a realistic and honest approach to financial and legal planning within marriage. Prenups are compared to life insurance and wills, emphasizing that they do not signify a lack of trust or commitment, but rather a realistic and honest approach to financial and legal planning within marriage.']}, {'end': 8059.337, 'start': 7643.98, 'title': 'Structures, rules, and prenups', 'summary': 'Discusses the importance of structures and rules in various contexts, such as sports events and prenuptial agreements, highlighting the impact of specific clauses and the potential pitfalls of certain legal arrangements.', 'duration': 415.357, 'highlights': ['The impact of specific clauses in prenuptial agreements is illustrated through a case where a provision tied weight gain to alimony reduction, emphasizing the potential customization of prenups. Case example of weight-based alimony reduction', 'The potential pitfalls of fidelity and sunset clauses in prenuptial agreements are discussed, highlighting the complications and discomfort these clauses may bring in legal battles and relationship evaluations. Discussion of fidelity and sunset clauses in prenups', 'Different types of infidelity, including soulmate infidelity, are outlined, emphasizing the common occurrence and cautionary tales associated with such situations. Explanation of different types of infidelity']}, {'end': 8411.343, 'start': 8060.117, 'title': 'Impact of social media on infidelity', 'summary': 'Discusses the role of facebook and instagram in facilitating infidelity, the different types of infidelity, and the impact of infidelity on relationships, highlighting how social media can lead to emotional affairs and the pain caused by unexpected soulmates, as well as the different dynamics of infidelity between men and women.', 'duration': 351.226, 'highlights': ['The chapter discusses the impact of social media, specifically Facebook and Instagram, in creating a platform for infidelity, emphasizing the role of communication tools in fostering connections outside of marriage and leading to the initiation of affairs.', 'It highlights the different types of infidelity, such as the unexpected soulmate and the push out of the closet, demonstrating the complex dynamics of emotional and same-sex infidelity and its impact on relationships.', "The chapter explores the emotional impact of infidelity on individuals, noting the significant pain experienced by women when confronted with the notion of a partner finding 'the one' outside of their relationship, and the different perceptions of infidelity between men and women.", "It delves into the concept of 'mistake' infidelity, discussing the impulsive nature of such actions and the conflict between sexual desire and emotional commitment within relationships.", 'The transcript highlights how individuals who have engaged in infidelity still express love and commitment to their partners, showcasing the complexity of human behavior and desires in the context of relationships.']}, {'end': 8722.496, 'start': 8411.643, 'title': 'Non-monogamous relationships and marriage', 'summary': 'Discusses the complexities and potential pitfalls of open marriages and threesomes, highlighting the challenges and risks involved, including the impact on relationships and the difficulty in managing the novelty of new experiences within established partnerships.', 'duration': 310.853, 'highlights': ['The challenges and risks of open marriages and threesomes, including the potential impact on relationships and the difficulty in managing the novelty of new experiences within established partnerships.', 'The considerations and difficulties in navigating non-monogamous relationships, such as addressing the underlying issues in the current sex life and the challenges of communication and interpretation within the relationship.', 'The analogy of threesomes as a dangerous ground and the potential consequences of mistakes, highlighting the high stakes and complexities involved in managing the dynamics of multiple partners.', "The speaker's personal struggle with the idea of threesomes and the intricate dilemma of attention and interest between established and new partners, illustrating the complexity and challenges of balancing emotions and desires within non-monogamous relationships.", 'The ethical and emotional complexities of non-monogamous relationships, including the intimate human chess game of navigating desires, emotions, and interpretations within the context of multiple partners.']}], 'duration': 1812.536, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY6909960.jpg', 'highlights': ['Divorce costs vary from thousands to millions, influenced by complexity and duration.', 'Clients paid millions in council fees due to complex custody issues and emergency cases.', 'Involvement of high net worth individuals in divorce proceedings with complex financial cases.', 'Prenups are legally binding if crafted correctly, requiring minimal asset disclosure.', 'Prenups encourage open communication between spouses regarding financial matters.', 'Importance of normalizing prenuptial agreements and comparing them to seat belts in cars.', 'Prenups compared to life insurance and wills, emphasizing realistic financial planning.', 'Illustration of specific clauses in prenups, such as weight gain tied to alimony reduction.', 'Discussion of potential pitfalls of fidelity and sunset clauses in prenuptial agreements.', 'Outline of different types of infidelity, including soulmate infidelity.', 'Impact of social media, specifically Facebook and Instagram, in fostering infidelity.', 'Exploration of emotional impact of infidelity on individuals and different perceptions between men and women.', "Discussion of the concept of 'mistake' infidelity and the conflict between sexual desire and emotional commitment.", 'Challenges and risks of open marriages and threesomes, including impact on relationships.', 'Considerations and difficulties in navigating non-monogamous relationships.', 'Illustration of the ethical and emotional complexities of non-monogamous relationships.']}, {'end': 9453.433, 'segs': [{'end': 8956.273, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 8914.501, 'weight': 3, 'content': [{'end': 8919.104, 'text': "I think what that just means is there's a lot of overlapping beautiful connections.", 'start': 8914.501, 'duration': 4.603}, {'end': 8921.265, 'text': 'I love them intellectually.', 'start': 8919.844, 'duration': 1.421}, {'end': 8922.906, 'text': 'I love them sexually.', 'start': 8921.585, 'duration': 1.321}, {'end': 8924.968, 'text': 'I love them interpersonally.', 'start': 8922.926, 'duration': 2.042}, {'end': 8927.95, 'text': 'We have some shared history.', 'start': 8925.328, 'duration': 2.622}, {'end': 8930.073, 'text': 'we have some shared commonalities.', 'start': 8927.95, 'duration': 2.123}, {'end': 8933.097, 'text': 'we were raised in the same culture, raised in the same religion.', 'start': 8930.073, 'duration': 3.024}, {'end': 8940.346, 'text': "like we view, we have politically similar ideas like these are all, or we have totally opposite ones, but they're complementary,", 'start': 8933.097, 'duration': 7.249}, {'end': 8943.19, 'text': "like i've always joked that like finding someone with complementary pathologies.", 'start': 8940.346, 'duration': 2.844}, {'end': 8946.524, 'text': "You know, like I'm obsessively disciplined.", 'start': 8944.102, 'duration': 2.422}, {'end': 8952.189, 'text': "So having a partner who's like flexible and like spontaneous is really good for me.", 'start': 8947.165, 'duration': 5.024}, {'end': 8956.273, 'text': 'And also me being like, no, no, no, come on, come back.', 'start': 8953.07, 'duration': 3.203}], 'summary': 'Individual values shared history, culture, and religion for interpersonal connections, including complementary traits.', 'duration': 41.772, 'max_score': 8914.501, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY8914501.jpg'}, {'end': 9168.06, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 9142.899, 'weight': 6, 'content': [{'end': 9153.488, 'text': "It's probably destructive just to really internalize the idea of soulmate, because then any imperfections can make you doubt, can make you step away,", 'start': 9142.899, 'duration': 10.589}, {'end': 9154.689, 'text': 'can make you lose the connection.', 'start': 9153.488, 'duration': 1.201}, {'end': 9157.351, 'text': "But it just feels like, I don't know.", 'start': 9154.729, 'duration': 2.622}, {'end': 9158.452, 'text': "It's too heavy.", 'start': 9157.651, 'duration': 0.801}, {'end': 9159.593, 'text': 'It just feels.', 'start': 9158.472, 'duration': 1.121}, {'end': 9168.06, 'text': "I feel like when you see a couple that's 90 years old and they've been together for 60 years, 70 years.", 'start': 9159.593, 'duration': 8.467}], 'summary': 'The concept of soulmates can lead to doubt and disconnection, but enduring long-term relationships exist.', 'duration': 25.161, 'max_score': 9142.899, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY9142899.jpg'}, {'end': 9460.217, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 9430.592, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 9434.357, 'text': "that might be the wrong gauge, because that's like we couldn't keep our hands off each other and we just.", 'start': 9430.592, 'duration': 3.765}, {'end': 9434.977, 'text': "it's novelty.", 'start': 9434.357, 'duration': 0.62}, {'end': 9442.728, 'text': "How much sex we're having post-children versus before the children, that might be worth looking at.", 'start': 9437.785, 'duration': 4.943}, {'end': 9453.433, 'text': "How do we compare it? Am I overweight compared to what? When I was 20 and running marathons or most 50-year-old men? I don't know.", 'start': 9442.968, 'duration': 10.465}, {'end': 9460.217, 'text': 'What do you compare it to? I think fighting, there are some people that I think they enjoy fighting.', 'start': 9453.993, 'duration': 6.224}], 'summary': 'Discussion on post-children sex frequency and comparison of physical fitness at different ages.', 'duration': 29.625, 'max_score': 9430.592, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY9430592.jpg'}], 'start': 8722.516, 'title': 'Negotiation and defining love', 'summary': 'Discusses negotiation lessons from a movie scene, highlighting the importance of composure and calmness, emphasizing that empty threats are ineffective. it also defines love and soulmates, stressing that love is about intention and commitment, not about never disappointing one another.', 'chapters': [{'end': 8890.947, 'start': 8722.516, 'title': 'Negotiation lessons from a movie scene', 'summary': 'Discusses the valuable negotiation lesson derived from a movie scene, highlighting the importance of composure and calmness in dealing with conflicts, emphasizing that empty threats are ineffective, and showcasing the significance of maintaining a composed demeanor in negotiations, as evidenced by a poignant movie scene.', 'duration': 168.431, 'highlights': ['The negotiation lesson from the movie scene emphasizes the importance of composure and calmness in dealing with conflicts, as demonstrated by the calm reaction of dangerous individuals, contrasting the ineffectiveness of empty threats.', 'The significance of maintaining a composed demeanor in negotiations is showcased through the example of a memorable movie scene, indicating that empty threats are ineffective in comparison to a composed and calm approach.', 'The chapter delves into the valuable negotiation lesson derived from a movie scene, highlighting the importance of composure and calmness in dealing with conflicts, and emphasizing that maintaining a composed demeanor in negotiations is instrumental for success.', 'The negotiation lesson from the movie scene underscores the ineffectiveness of empty threats and the importance of maintaining a composed demeanor in negotiations, as evidenced by the contrast between empty threats and the calm reactions of dangerous individuals.']}, {'end': 9453.433, 'start': 8890.947, 'title': 'Defining love and soulmates', 'summary': "Discusses the concept of soulmates, emphasizing that a partner doesn't have to be perfect in every aspect, and that love is about intention and commitment, not about never disappointing one another. the chapter also touches upon the issue of fighting in relationships, emphasizing the importance of respectful communication and individual interpretation of relationship dynamics.", 'duration': 562.486, 'highlights': ["The concept of soulmates is discussed, emphasizing that a partner doesn't have to be perfect in every aspect, and that love is about intention and commitment, not about never disappointing one another. Love is about intention and commitment, not about never disappointing one another. The idea that a partner has to be perfect in every aspect is challenged.", 'The chapter also addresses the issue of fighting in relationships, emphasizing the importance of respectful communication and individual interpretation of relationship dynamics. Emphasizes the importance of respectful communication and individual interpretation of relationship dynamics. Discusses the individual tastes and interpretations of relationship dynamics.', 'The speaker mentions the distinction between feeling that someone is a missing puzzle piece and the idea of having overlapping beautiful connections with a partner. Discusses the distinction between feeling that someone is a missing puzzle piece and having overlapping beautiful connections with a partner.']}], 'duration': 730.917, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY8722516.jpg', 'highlights': ['The negotiation lesson from the movie scene emphasizes the importance of composure and calmness in dealing with conflicts, as demonstrated by the calm reaction of dangerous individuals, contrasting the ineffectiveness of empty threats.', 'The significance of maintaining a composed demeanor in negotiations is showcased through the example of a memorable movie scene, indicating that empty threats are ineffective in comparison to a composed and calm approach.', 'The negotiation lesson from the movie scene underscores the ineffectiveness of empty threats and the importance of maintaining a composed demeanor in negotiations, as evidenced by the contrast between empty threats and the calm reactions of dangerous individuals.', 'The chapter delves into the valuable negotiation lesson derived from a movie scene, highlighting the importance of composure and calmness in dealing with conflicts, and emphasizing that maintaining a composed demeanor in negotiations is instrumental for success.', "The concept of soulmates is discussed, emphasizing that a partner doesn't have to be perfect in every aspect, and that love is about intention and commitment, not about never disappointing one another.", 'The chapter also addresses the issue of fighting in relationships, emphasizing the importance of respectful communication and individual interpretation of relationship dynamics.', 'The speaker mentions the distinction between feeling that someone is a missing puzzle piece and the idea of having overlapping beautiful connections with a partner.']}, {'end': 10498.85, 'segs': [{'end': 9661.36, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 9629.926, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 9631.447, 'text': "I think it's possibly the perfect show.", 'start': 9629.926, 'duration': 1.521}, {'end': 9642.319, 'text': 'Is there advice you can give to somebody like me on how to interview well, how to do conversations well?', 'start': 9633.075, 'duration': 9.244}, {'end': 9648.602, 'text': "Do you think there's something transferable from the courtroom to this setting with complicated people?", 'start': 9642.499, 'duration': 6.103}, {'end': 9651.023, 'text': 'Yeah, I think so.', 'start': 9649.662, 'duration': 1.361}, {'end': 9658.186, 'text': 'I think what can be learned about interviewing is the distillation.', 'start': 9651.623, 'duration': 6.563}, {'end': 9661.36, 'text': 'what is most important.', 'start': 9660.02, 'duration': 1.34}], 'summary': 'Learn interview distillation from the perfect show.', 'duration': 31.434, 'max_score': 9629.926, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY9629926.jpg'}, {'end': 10169.476, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 10145.846, 'weight': 2, 'content': [{'end': 10152.349, 'text': 'There are very stringent standards that they follow to prevent like suggestive questioning or any of those kinds of things.', 'start': 10145.846, 'duration': 6.503}, {'end': 10161.793, 'text': "And I was saying, listen, no, no one should be interviewing this child other than this person who's a neutral, qualified person.", 'start': 10153.149, 'duration': 8.644}, {'end': 10164.594, 'text': 'And I kept saying to the other side, like, wait, no, no.', 'start': 10162.133, 'duration': 2.461}, {'end': 10165.674, 'text': 'See, this is the problem.', 'start': 10164.954, 'duration': 0.72}, {'end': 10166.735, 'text': 'Like, you want to win.', 'start': 10165.694, 'duration': 1.041}, {'end': 10167.675, 'text': "You're a lawyer.", 'start': 10167.195, 'duration': 0.48}, {'end': 10168.255, 'text': 'You want to win.', 'start': 10167.695, 'duration': 0.56}, {'end': 10169.476, 'text': 'I want to win too.', 'start': 10168.275, 'duration': 1.201}], 'summary': 'Advocating for neutral and qualified interviewing for child protection, emphasizing the need to prevent suggestive questioning.', 'duration': 23.63, 'max_score': 10145.846, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY10145846.jpg'}, {'end': 10374.304, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 10344.872, 'weight': 4, 'content': [{'end': 10346.792, 'text': 'And then it was shown through text messages and things.', 'start': 10344.872, 'duration': 1.92}, {'end': 10348.573, 'text': 'They clearly had an affair with the babysitter.', 'start': 10346.812, 'duration': 1.761}, {'end': 10353.034, 'text': "And I said, why did you lie? And they said, well, I didn't want that to come out.", 'start': 10349.333, 'duration': 3.701}, {'end': 10354.935, 'text': "And I said, right, but now you're a liar.", 'start': 10353.054, 'duration': 1.881}, {'end': 10358.316, 'text': 'Like did you molest your child??', 'start': 10355.955, 'duration': 2.361}, {'end': 10367.959, 'text': "Because if the answer to that is no, And now you destroyed your credibility because you didn't want to admit that you slept with an adult woman.", 'start': 10358.936, 'duration': 9.023}, {'end': 10369.84, 'text': 'By the way, it would have been good for your case.', 'start': 10368.159, 'duration': 1.681}, {'end': 10374.304, 'text': 'It would have been good for your case for you to say, yeah, I slept with her because I like sleeping with adult women.', 'start': 10369.86, 'duration': 4.444}], 'summary': 'Accusation of affair with babysitter, credibility damaged by lying.', 'duration': 29.432, 'max_score': 10344.872, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY10344872.jpg'}, {'end': 10396.914, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 10376.067, 'weight': 6, 'content': [{'end': 10386.511, 'text': "I don't sleep with children, much less my own, you know? So why would you lie? And so that concept is incredibly important.", 'start': 10376.067, 'duration': 10.444}, {'end': 10389.732, 'text': 'And judges, theoretically, they have to make very tough calls.', 'start': 10386.591, 'duration': 3.141}, {'end': 10396.914, 'text': "I feel like it's the most impotent place to just sit there and dispassionately sort of listen and rule on objections.", 'start': 10390.192, 'duration': 6.722}], 'summary': 'Emphasizing the importance of truth and tough decisions in court.', 'duration': 20.847, 'max_score': 10376.067, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY10376067.jpg'}, {'end': 10498.85, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 10475.098, 'weight': 3, 'content': [{'end': 10486.365, 'text': "i have a friend who's a juilliard trained classical pianist and um he was having a humidification system installed in his home because his piano required a certain level of humidity.", 'start': 10475.098, 'duration': 11.267}, {'end': 10490.167, 'text': 'And it was very expensive to install this humidification system.', 'start': 10487.065, 'duration': 3.102}, {'end': 10498.85, 'text': "And we went out to dinner and then we came back to his place and he said, man, this is the most depressing $15,000 I've ever spent.", 'start': 10491.127, 'duration': 7.723}], 'summary': 'A juilliard-trained pianist spent $15,000 on a humidification system for his piano, finding it depressing.', 'duration': 23.752, 'max_score': 10475.098, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY10475098.jpg'}], 'start': 9453.993, 'title': 'Enjoying argument, novelty, interviewing techniques, and family law challenges', 'summary': 'Covers the enjoyment of argument, novelty, interviewing techniques, and legal persuasion, with a focus on distillation in interviewing and legal persuasion, challenges in family law cases including defending those accused of child sexual abuse, and the importance of credibility and due process in the legal system.', 'chapters': [{'end': 9605.79, 'start': 9453.993, 'title': 'Enjoying argument and novelty', 'summary': 'Discusses the enjoyment of argument, the novelty of being something different, and the perception of humor in public and private life.', 'duration': 151.797, 'highlights': ['The speaker argues for a living and does not find argument enjoyable in their free time.', 'The comedian Bobcat Goldthwait expressed annoyance at being asked to hear a joke due to his profession.', 'The chapter explores the perception of humor in public and private life, citing the introspective nature of Robin Williams and the novelty of dressing differently in relationships.']}, {'end': 9847.698, 'start': 9605.79, 'title': 'Interviewing techniques and legal persuasion', 'summary': 'Discusses the importance of distillation in interviewing and legal persuasion, emphasizing the need to consider different perspectives and the human element in courtroom persuasion.', 'duration': 241.908, 'highlights': ['The importance of distillation in interviewing and legal persuasion, focusing on the essence of a story or argument to present to a judge, which involves boiling down the most important aspects and identifying the greater principles (e.g., totality of parenting, good and bad examples, greater principles) (relevance: 5)', "The need to understand and consider the other side's case in-depth, including their defenses, strengths, and strategy, while avoiding attributing unnecessary intelligence or strategy to their actions (e.g., Sexton's principle, not attributing to strategy that which could be attributed to stupidity or laziness) (relevance: 4)", 'The unique approach of family law attorneys who focus on bench trials to persuade the judge, highlighting the human element of judges and their emotions in the courtroom setting (relevance: 3)', "The value of considering different perspectives, such as employing devil's advocate, straw man, and steel man approaches in both interviewing and legal settings, emphasizing the importance of understanding unique human expressions and individuality (relevance: 2)", 'The teaching approach in jujitsu, emphasizing the importance of understanding concepts and principles, as well as considering different perspectives, and the parallel drawn between jujitsu instructors Paul Schreiner and John Donoher (relevance: 1)']}, {'end': 10498.85, 'start': 9849.119, 'title': 'Challenges of representing clients in family law', 'summary': 'Discusses the emotional and physical abuse faced by children in family law cases, challenges in defending those accused of child sexual abuse, and the importance of credibility and due process in the legal system.', 'duration': 649.731, 'highlights': ['Defending clients accused of child sexual abuse is a tough task as there is a rush to judgment and a disregard for procedure, leading to confirmation bias and a desire to protect the vulnerable. The speaker notes that there is a rush to judgment, disregard for procedure, confirmation bias, and a desire to protect the vulnerable in cases of child sexual abuse, making it a tough task to defend the accused.', 'The speaker emphasizes the importance of credibility in legal proceedings, citing examples of how lying about minor things can torpedo an entire case and destroy credibility. The speaker stresses the importance of credibility in legal proceedings, highlighting how lying about minor things can negatively impact a case and destroy credibility, ultimately affecting the outcome of the trial.', 'The challenges of family law cases are discussed, including the emotional and physical abuse faced by children, the impact of gender on conversations, and the difficulty in dealing with judges who may not fully comprehend evidence. The challenges of family law cases, such as emotional and physical abuse faced by children, the impact of gender on conversations, and the difficulty in dealing with judges who may not fully comprehend evidence, are highlighted.']}], 'duration': 1044.857, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY9453993.jpg', 'highlights': ['The importance of distillation in interviewing and legal persuasion, focusing on the essence of a story or argument to present to a judge, which involves boiling down the most important aspects and identifying the greater principles (relevance: 5)', "The need to understand and consider the other side's case in-depth, including their defenses, strengths, and strategy, while avoiding attributing unnecessary intelligence or strategy to their actions (relevance: 4)", 'The unique approach of family law attorneys who focus on bench trials to persuade the judge, highlighting the human element of judges and their emotions in the courtroom setting (relevance: 3)', 'The challenges of family law cases are discussed, including the emotional and physical abuse faced by children, the impact of gender on conversations, and the difficulty in dealing with judges who may not fully comprehend evidence (relevance: 3)', 'The speaker emphasizes the importance of credibility in legal proceedings, citing examples of how lying about minor things can torpedo an entire case and destroy credibility (relevance: 2)', "The value of considering different perspectives, such as employing devil's advocate, straw man, and steel man approaches in both interviewing and legal settings, emphasizing the importance of understanding unique human expressions and individuality (relevance: 2)", 'Defending clients accused of child sexual abuse is a tough task as there is a rush to judgment and a disregard for procedure, leading to confirmation bias and a desire to protect the vulnerable (relevance: 1)']}, {'end': 11894.02, 'segs': [{'end': 10917.326, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 10889.461, 'weight': 2, 'content': [{'end': 10893.344, 'text': "I can't always stop them, but I discourage them from doing so.", 'start': 10889.461, 'duration': 3.883}, {'end': 10894.966, 'text': "I don't think there's any good to come of it.", 'start': 10893.364, 'duration': 1.602}, {'end': 10898.508, 'text': 'There are lawyers who try things in the court of public opinion.', 'start': 10895.546, 'duration': 2.962}, {'end': 10905.257, 'text': 'I think there is a To take it to the broader principle you just brought up.', 'start': 10898.528, 'duration': 6.729}, {'end': 10909.821, 'text': 'I think there is a lot of value in talking about your ex in a favorable way.', 'start': 10905.257, 'duration': 4.564}, {'end': 10917.326, 'text': 'I have to say, when I first got divorced many years ago, I went on a date with a young woman.', 'start': 10910.621, 'duration': 6.705}], 'summary': 'Discouraging negative talk about ex, promoting positive communication, experienced divorce.', 'duration': 27.865, 'max_score': 10889.461, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY10889461.jpg'}, {'end': 10958.436, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 10930.259, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 10934.182, 'text': "And I said something about, oh, there's going to be this thing at this museum.", 'start': 10930.259, 'duration': 3.923}, {'end': 10934.662, 'text': 'We should go.', 'start': 10934.202, 'duration': 0.46}, {'end': 10936.063, 'text': "And she's like, oh, yeah, that'd be a lot of fun.", 'start': 10934.722, 'duration': 1.341}, {'end': 10937.364, 'text': "And I'm like, yeah, we should definitely.", 'start': 10936.103, 'duration': 1.261}, {'end': 10939.306, 'text': 'Maybe that will be the next thing we do together.', 'start': 10937.584, 'duration': 1.722}, {'end': 10941.387, 'text': 'And she was like, yeah, we should go next weekend.', 'start': 10939.886, 'duration': 1.501}, {'end': 10943.168, 'text': 'The kids are with the asshole, so we can go.', 'start': 10941.407, 'duration': 1.761}, {'end': 10947.832, 'text': 'And I just, it was like, you could hear that record scratch.', 'start': 10943.329, 'duration': 4.503}, {'end': 10950.374, 'text': "I just went, oh, yeah, no, this isn't good.", 'start': 10947.892, 'duration': 2.482}, {'end': 10951.394, 'text': "Like I'm not.", 'start': 10950.774, 'duration': 0.62}, {'end': 10953.855, 'text': "you're referring to the father of your kids as the asshole?", 'start': 10951.394, 'duration': 2.461}, {'end': 10956.115, 'text': "Like we're already.", 'start': 10954.535, 'duration': 1.58}, {'end': 10958.436, 'text': "I'm walking into something here that I don't know that I want to be involved in.", 'start': 10956.115, 'duration': 2.321}], 'summary': "A conversation about going to a museum takes a negative turn when one person refers to the other's ex as 'the asshole,' causing concern about getting involved in the situation.", 'duration': 28.177, 'max_score': 10930.259, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY10930259.jpg'}, {'end': 11495.682, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 11468.134, 'weight': 3, 'content': [{'end': 11473.057, 'text': "Don't steer people down roads that you know that that's not how it's going to go.", 'start': 11468.134, 'duration': 4.923}, {'end': 11478.659, 'text': "So it's like if the woman says, I love you, and you don't love her, don't say, I love you back.", 'start': 11473.077, 'duration': 5.582}, {'end': 11483.201, 'text': 'You do the like, oh, I have very strong feelings for you as well.', 'start': 11478.919, 'duration': 4.282}, {'end': 11485.562, 'text': 'There has to be some middle ground.', 'start': 11483.361, 'duration': 2.201}, {'end': 11486.643, 'text': "You don't just pretend you didn't hear them.", 'start': 11485.582, 'duration': 1.061}, {'end': 11491.98, 'text': 'I guess all of it requires skill, just like you described.', 'start': 11488.979, 'duration': 3.001}, {'end': 11495.682, 'text': 'I think just being honest in quotes is not enough.', 'start': 11492, 'duration': 3.682}], 'summary': "Honesty and skill are essential in relationships, avoiding false expressions like 'i love you' when not genuine.", 'duration': 27.548, 'max_score': 11468.134, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY11468134.jpg'}, {'end': 11653.154, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 11627.674, 'weight': 4, 'content': [{'end': 11632.982, 'text': 'And finance is one of the sources of a huge amount of stress in relationships, which is..', 'start': 11627.674, 'duration': 5.308}, {'end': 11637.529, 'text': "Tremendous Because it's about value, I think.", 'start': 11632.982, 'duration': 4.547}, {'end': 11638.511, 'text': "I mean, it's aside from..", 'start': 11637.689, 'duration': 0.822}, {'end': 11648.472, 'text': 'having painful conversations about what you tried to do and were able to do or what your impulse control was in terms of what you spent money on.', 'start': 11640.808, 'duration': 7.664}, {'end': 11653.154, 'text': "There's the conversation and then there's what's underneath the conversation.", 'start': 11648.712, 'duration': 4.442}], 'summary': 'Finance causes significant stress in relationships due to discussions about spending and impulse control.', 'duration': 25.48, 'max_score': 11627.674, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY11627674.jpg'}, {'end': 11752.78, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 11698.416, 'weight': 1, 'content': [{'end': 11704.698, 'text': 'but also how you were raised and how your family taught you about finance and how you should conduct your finances.', 'start': 11698.416, 'duration': 6.282}, {'end': 11707.518, 'text': "There's interesting power dynamics in play.", 'start': 11704.798, 'duration': 2.72}, {'end': 11708.759, 'text': 'Tremendously, yeah.', 'start': 11707.598, 'duration': 1.161}, {'end': 11718.755, 'text': 'Those are very tricky because the standard of living of a couple becomes important in a divorce,', 'start': 11708.779, 'duration': 9.976}, {'end': 11727.866, 'text': 'but sometimes this toxic standard of living that created toxic levels of stress is one of the causes of the divorce.', 'start': 11718.755, 'duration': 9.111}, {'end': 11739.119, 'text': "And so they're asking the court to maintain a financial obligation on you that is the reason why the marriage fell apart.", 'start': 11728.727, 'duration': 10.392}, {'end': 11744.385, 'text': 'And that feels like a particularly insulting form of indignity.', 'start': 11739.679, 'duration': 4.706}, {'end': 11750.939, 'text': "Well, you're a fascinating human being on many levels, but you're also exceptionally productive.", 'start': 11746.035, 'duration': 4.904}, {'end': 11752.78, 'text': "And you've talked to me about waking up early.", 'start': 11750.999, 'duration': 1.781}], 'summary': 'Navigating financial dynamics in divorce, discussing toxic standard of living and maintaining financial obligations.', 'duration': 54.364, 'max_score': 11698.416, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY11698416.jpg'}, {'end': 11828.856, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 11803.891, 'weight': 6, 'content': [{'end': 11811.428, 'text': 'And as a divorce lawyer, Our definition of emergency can be very serious.', 'start': 11803.891, 'duration': 7.537}, {'end': 11813.228, 'text': "It's people absconding with a child.", 'start': 11811.488, 'duration': 1.74}, {'end': 11816.07, 'text': "It's a police being involved in a domestic violence.", 'start': 11813.289, 'duration': 2.781}, {'end': 11818.051, 'text': 'And so they can be like time sensitive things.', 'start': 11816.11, 'duration': 1.941}, {'end': 11823.573, 'text': "And when someone is hiring a divorce lawyer, I think they're hiring, they want someone responsive.", 'start': 11818.251, 'duration': 5.322}, {'end': 11824.934, 'text': 'My clients have my cell phone number.', 'start': 11823.613, 'duration': 1.321}, {'end': 11828.856, 'text': 'And I go to bed early because I get up early.', 'start': 11825.814, 'duration': 3.042}], 'summary': 'Divorce lawyer handles serious emergencies like child abduction, police involvement in domestic violence, and emphasizes being responsive to clients, providing cell phone number for contact.', 'duration': 24.965, 'max_score': 11803.891, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY11803891.jpg'}], 'start': 10499.09, 'title': 'Divorce and relationships', 'summary': "Delves into the disillusionment of divorce, role of lawyers, kevin costner's prenup, and the importance of honesty in relationships and managing marital finances, emphasizing the impact of differing financial styles and the potential stress and power dynamics involved, while also highlighting the productivity habits of a divorce lawyer.", 'chapters': [{'end': 10741.253, 'start': 10499.09, 'title': 'Divorce lawyer insights', 'summary': 'Discusses the disillusionment and performative nature of divorce in modern society, the role of divorce lawyers in mitigating conflict, and the importance of reputation and strategy in handling divorce cases.', 'duration': 242.163, 'highlights': ['Divorce in modern society is characterized by disillusionment and the performative nature of relationships, challenging the idea of pretending to have intended divorce or the lack of tangible outcomes. The speaker reflects on the performative nature of divorce in modern society and how individuals cannot pretend to have intended divorce or lack tangible outcomes, highlighting the disillusionment and lack of genuine intention in relationships.', 'Divorce lawyers play a crucial role in mitigating conflict and strategizing to minimize the number of disputes, emphasizing the importance of reputation and ethical practice in the field. The speaker emphasizes the role of divorce lawyers in mitigating conflict and strategically minimizing disputes, highlighting the significance of reputation and ethical practice in the field.', 'Experienced divorce lawyers employ strategic negotiation and planning to minimize conflict and reach favorable resolutions, drawing parallels to high-level chess and the foresight to anticipate outcomes. Experienced divorce lawyers are depicted as employing strategic negotiation and planning to minimize conflict and achieve favorable resolutions, drawing parallels to high-level chess and the ability to anticipate outcomes.']}, {'end': 11284.683, 'start': 10741.753, 'title': "Kevin costner's prenup and career", 'summary': "Discusses kevin costner's effective prenup, successful career comeback with 'yellowstone', and the importance of dignified public discourse during divorce, exemplified by matthew mcconaughey's relationships.", 'duration': 542.93, 'highlights': ["Kevin Costner's well-crafted and enforceable prenuptial agreement showcases the importance of protecting assets in divorce, with a significant contrast to his previous costly divorce settlement. Well-crafted and enforceable prenuptial agreement; showcases importance of protecting assets in divorce; significant contrast to previous costly divorce settlement.", "Kevin Costner's successful career comeback with 'Yellowstone' demonstrates the unpredictable nature of careers and the importance of prenups in safeguarding assets. Successful career comeback with 'Yellowstone'; demonstrates unpredictable nature of careers; importance of prenups in safeguarding assets.", "Matthew McConaughey's dignified public discourse during his relationships exemplifies the value of speaking favorably about ex-partners during divorce, showcasing the importance of respectful communication. Matthew McConaughey's dignified public discourse; exemplifies value of speaking favorably about ex-partners; importance of respectful communication during divorce."]}, {'end': 11573.968, 'start': 11284.903, 'title': 'Honesty in relationships', 'summary': 'Discusses the distinction between honesty and candor in relationships, addressing scenarios where honesty may be indelicate and the importance of practical, specific actions in maintaining healthy relationships.', 'duration': 289.065, 'highlights': ['The distinction between honesty and candor in relationships is emphasized, highlighting the importance of being tactful and considerate in communication.', 'The discussion on practical, specific actions in relationships, such as leaving notes or small gestures, is highlighted as essential for maintaining healthy relationships.', 'The concept of puffery in marketing and advertising is explained, illustrating the difference between hyperbolic statements and material misrepresentation of facts.', 'The importance of providing specific, measurable advice for improving relationships is emphasized, as people often seek practical guidance for enhancing their connections.']}, {'end': 11894.02, 'start': 11574.628, 'title': 'Managing marital finances: navigating challenges', 'summary': 'Discusses the delicate nature of managing marital finances, emphasizing the importance of communication, the impact of differing financial styles, and the potential stress and power dynamics involved, while also highlighting the productivity habits of a divorce lawyer who wakes up at 4 am and the potential emergencies they handle.', 'duration': 319.392, 'highlights': ['The delicate nature of managing marital finances is emphasized, stressing the importance of communication and the potential negative impact if not handled carefully. The chapter highlights the need for careful communication and advance discussion when managing marital finances, warning about the potential catastrophic impact if not handled properly.', 'The impact of differing financial styles and the potential stress and power dynamics involved are discussed, shedding light on the complex nature of handling finances within a relationship. The transcript delves into the impact of differing financial styles, highlighting the potential stress and power dynamics involved in managing marital finances, emphasizing the complex nature of this aspect of a relationship.', 'The productivity habits of a divorce lawyer who wakes up at 4 AM and the potential emergencies they handle are revealed, providing insight into the professional life of the individual. The transcript provides a glimpse into the productivity habits of a divorce lawyer who wakes up at 4 AM, emphasizing the potential emergencies they handle and their dedication to being responsive to clients.']}], 'duration': 1394.93, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY10499090.jpg', 'highlights': ['Experienced divorce lawyers employ strategic negotiation and planning to minimize conflict and reach favorable resolutions, drawing parallels to high-level chess and the ability to anticipate outcomes.', "Kevin Costner's well-crafted and enforceable prenuptial agreement showcases the importance of protecting assets in divorce, with a significant contrast to his previous costly divorce settlement.", "Matthew McConaughey's dignified public discourse during his relationships exemplifies the value of speaking favorably about ex-partners during divorce, showcasing the importance of respectful communication.", 'The distinction between honesty and candor in relationships is emphasized, highlighting the importance of being tactful and considerate in communication.', 'The delicate nature of managing marital finances is emphasized, stressing the importance of communication and the potential negative impact if not handled carefully.', 'The impact of differing financial styles and the potential stress and power dynamics involved are discussed, shedding light on the complex nature of handling finances within a relationship.', 'The productivity habits of a divorce lawyer who wakes up at 4 AM and the potential emergencies they handle are revealed, providing insight into the professional life of the individual.']}, {'end': 13467.554, 'segs': [{'end': 11947.244, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 11916.806, 'weight': 0, 'content': [{'end': 11918.947, 'text': 'And it was at 5 a.m. till 6, and that was heaven.', 'start': 11916.806, 'duration': 2.141}, {'end': 11921.669, 'text': 'I love training jiu-jitsu first thing in the morning if I can.', 'start': 11919.187, 'duration': 2.482}, {'end': 11926.472, 'text': 'And then I always do either a sauna or steam for 20 minutes, half an hour.', 'start': 11922.329, 'duration': 4.143}, {'end': 11931.455, 'text': "And then I do a cold plunge, or if I don't have access to a cold plunge, a cold shower.", 'start': 11926.912, 'duration': 4.543}, {'end': 11933.737, 'text': 'And then I have breakfast.', 'start': 11932.236, 'duration': 1.501}, {'end': 11938.197, 'text': "And it's usually a very uncontroversial, simple breakfast.", 'start': 11934.714, 'duration': 3.483}, {'end': 11942, 'text': 'I like to eat, you know, I eat like slow carb, Tim Ferriss type style.', 'start': 11938.257, 'duration': 3.743}, {'end': 11944.382, 'text': 'And then I get right to work.', 'start': 11942.76, 'duration': 1.622}, {'end': 11947.244, 'text': 'I try to do my drafting early in the day.', 'start': 11944.982, 'duration': 2.262}], 'summary': 'Morning routine includes jiu-jitsu, sauna/steam, cold plunge, simple breakfast, then work.', 'duration': 30.438, 'max_score': 11916.806, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY11916806.jpg'}, {'end': 12123.634, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 12095.75, 'weight': 1, 'content': [{'end': 12099.173, 'text': 'and then I gotta go back in and put 100% of my focus on this other case again.', 'start': 12095.75, 'duration': 3.423}, {'end': 12101.354, 'text': 'So you find yourself in a place.', 'start': 12099.593, 'duration': 1.761}, {'end': 12102.675, 'text': "that's why I'm very disciplined.", 'start': 12101.354, 'duration': 1.321}, {'end': 12110.702, 'text': 'is you find yourself in a place where I live my whole life in six minute increments, tenths of an hour, because we bill in tenths of an hour?', 'start': 12102.675, 'duration': 8.027}, {'end': 12117.187, 'text': "So everything I do, it's like 0.2, 0.4, 0.6, and I'm logging time throughout the day.", 'start': 12111.142, 'duration': 6.045}, {'end': 12123.634, 'text': 'And you find yourself at the end of the day My son is a lawyer, my older son.', 'start': 12118.208, 'duration': 5.426}], 'summary': 'Lawyer emphasizes discipline, billing in tenths of an hour, logging time, and having a son who is also a lawyer.', 'duration': 27.884, 'max_score': 12095.75, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY12095750.jpg'}, {'end': 12913.961, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 12878.533, 'weight': 2, 'content': [{'end': 12882.977, 'text': 'The same kind of insecurities, the same kind of jealousy, the same kind of fights.', 'start': 12878.533, 'duration': 4.444}, {'end': 12885.198, 'text': "It's all the same.", 'start': 12883.557, 'duration': 1.641}, {'end': 12887, 'text': 'But it is.', 'start': 12886.159, 'duration': 0.841}, {'end': 12891.844, 'text': "And it's all the same insecurity, sadness.", 'start': 12887.56, 'duration': 4.284}, {'end': 12899.39, 'text': "It's the same desire to be validated, like mommy issues, daddy issues, like intimacy issues.", 'start': 12891.924, 'duration': 7.466}, {'end': 12901.791, 'text': "And it's all the same stuff.", 'start': 12899.41, 'duration': 2.381}, {'end': 12913.961, 'text': "And just because you're really good at other things like, I've represented professional athletes who are phenomenal, world-class, you know doctors,", 'start': 12902.172, 'duration': 11.789}], 'summary': 'Insecurities, jealousy, fights, and validation issues are common in different areas of life.', 'duration': 35.428, 'max_score': 12878.533, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY12878533.jpg'}, {'end': 12957.151, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 12929.623, 'weight': 3, 'content': [{'end': 12933.926, 'text': "I'm sure there's some overlap, like patience is good and thinking strategically is probably good.", 'start': 12929.623, 'duration': 4.303}, {'end': 12939.999, 'text': "I'm just humbled by how we're called to it still.", 'start': 12936.417, 'duration': 3.582}, {'end': 12947.885, 'text': 'And even when we lose, and even when our greatest pains were caused by our desire to love and be loved in a romantic sense,', 'start': 12940.6, 'duration': 7.285}, {'end': 12951.247, 'text': 'we just keep putting the money on the table and playing.', 'start': 12947.885, 'duration': 3.362}, {'end': 12952.928, 'text': "We won't just quit.", 'start': 12951.847, 'duration': 1.081}, {'end': 12954.249, 'text': 'We just keep going.', 'start': 12953.008, 'duration': 1.241}, {'end': 12957.151, 'text': 'The whole mess of it is worth it.', 'start': 12954.449, 'duration': 2.702}], 'summary': 'Despite challenges, we persist in the pursuit of love and remain determined to keep going.', 'duration': 27.528, 'max_score': 12929.623, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY12929623.jpg'}, {'end': 13253.935, 'src': 'embed', 'start': 13229.576, 'weight': 4, 'content': [{'end': 13237.602, 'text': "and have them sort of do that inner work and then have them do some kind of a session together after they've had that experience,", 'start': 13229.576, 'duration': 8.026}, {'end': 13238.743, 'text': 'that psychedelic experience.', 'start': 13237.602, 'duration': 1.141}, {'end': 13246.909, 'text': "I actually think you could do transformative divorce work, because I have found myself, and certainly the many people that I've talked to,", 'start': 13239.344, 'duration': 7.565}, {'end': 13253.935, 'text': "who've had psilocybin experiences in particular, but any psychedelic experience, many of the empathogens right?", 'start': 13246.909, 'duration': 7.026}], 'summary': 'Psychedelic experiences can facilitate transformative divorce work and inner healing.', 'duration': 24.359, 'max_score': 13229.576, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY13229576.jpg'}], 'start': 11894.08, 'title': "Daily life and love's impact", 'summary': 'Delves into the daily routines of a lawyer, the impact of romantic love on human behavior, and the complexities of relationships, including details such as morning routines for stress relief, a day in the life of a family law attorney, and the profound impact of love on human behavior and relationships.', 'chapters': [{'end': 11938.197, 'start': 11894.08, 'title': 'Morning routine for stress relief', 'summary': "Discusses the speaker's morning routine for stress relief, including working out for an hour, practicing jujitsu with law enforcement officers at 5 am, followed by sauna or steam for 20 minutes, a cold plunge or shower, and a simple breakfast.", 'duration': 44.117, 'highlights': ["The speaker's morning routine includes working out for an hour, practicing jujitsu with law enforcement officers at 5 AM, followed by sauna or steam for 20 minutes, a cold plunge or shower, and a simple breakfast.", 'The speaker emphasizes the importance of working out for stress relief and finds training jiu-jitsu in the morning to be ideal.', 'The speaker mentions training jiu-jitsu with law enforcement officers at 5 AM, which he finds to be an enjoyable and stress-relieving experience.']}, {'end': 12117.187, 'start': 11938.257, 'title': 'A day in the life of a family law attorney', 'summary': 'Highlights a day in the life of a family law attorney, including tasks such as drafting documents, court proceedings, and the intensity of trials, where they live in six-minute increments and bill in tenths of an hour.', 'duration': 178.93, 'highlights': ["Family law attorney's work involves drafting various legal documents such as prenups, motions, and settlement proposals from 6 or 7 am until 9 or 9.30 am. The attorney spends the early part of the day drafting legal documents, such as prenups, motions, and settlement proposals, logging time in tenths of an hour.", "Court proceedings typically occur from 9 am until noon, with a different pace during trials, where lunch breaks are spent preparing afternoon's witnesses and doing damage control on the morning proceedings. The attorney describes the pace of court proceedings, highlighting the intense preparation required during trials, where the lunch break is utilized for witness preparation and damage control.", 'The attorney discusses the exhilaration and exhaustion experienced during trials, emphasizing the hyper-stimulated state and the singularity of focus involved. The attorney shares the intense experience of being on trial, describing it as both exhilarating and exhausting, with a singular focus and heightened stimulation.', "The attorney's disciplined approach is highlighted, living life in six-minute increments and logging time throughout the day in tenths of an hour due to billing requirements. The attorney's disciplined approach to time management is emphasized, living life in six-minute increments and logging time in tenths of an hour to meet billing requirements."]}, {'end': 12708.3, 'start': 12118.208, 'title': 'Life as a lawyer and jiu-jitsu enthusiast', 'summary': "Discusses the daily life of a district attorney, emphasizing the constant workload and the need for discipline, while also delving into the speaker's journey with jiu-jitsu and a past conflict with jiu-jitsu athlete gordon ryan, expressing regret and admiration.", 'duration': 590.092, 'highlights': ['The speaker reflects on the daily life of a district attorney, highlighting the perpetual workload and the need for discipline to manage it effectively. Emphasizes the constant workload and the need for discipline to manage it effectively.', "The speaker shares their personal journey with jiu-jitsu, including their early training, hiatus during college and grad school, and the decision to return to martial arts after a divorce. Details the speaker's personal journey with jiu-jitsu, including training history and the decision to return to martial arts after a divorce.", 'The speaker expresses regret and admiration regarding a past conflict with jiu-jitsu athlete Gordon Ryan, acknowledging their obnoxious behavior and expressing profound apology. Expresses regret and admiration regarding a past conflict with jiu-jitsu athlete Gordon Ryan, acknowledging obnoxious behavior and expressing profound apology.']}, {'end': 12901.791, 'start': 12708.38, 'title': "Love's role in human condition", 'summary': 'Emphasizes the profound impact of romantic love on human behavior, highlighting its significance in driving wars, empires falling, and the pursuit of success, with the realization that love and its complexities are universal and transcends societal status and wealth.', 'duration': 193.411, 'highlights': ['Romantic love drives wars, empires fall, and is the driving force behind human pursuits, underscoring its profound impact on human behavior.', 'The pursuit of success, wealth, and societal status is often rooted in the desire to attract attractive partners, emphasizing the influence of romantic love on human behavior.', 'The realization that love and its complexities are universal and transcends societal status and wealth, as it encompasses common insecurities and desires for validation.', 'The chapter highlights the universality of human struggles, including intimacy issues, mommy and daddy issues, and insecurities, showcasing the commonality of human experiences regardless of status or wealth.']}, {'end': 13467.554, 'start': 12902.172, 'title': 'The truth about relationships', 'summary': 'Discusses the complexities of relationships, the value of perseverance, and the potential for transformative growth in the face of divorce, suggesting the use of psychedelics for empathetic resolution.', 'duration': 565.382, 'highlights': ['The value of perseverance in relationships is emphasized, as people continue to pursue love despite past failures. Emphasizes the enduring pursuit of love and relationships despite past failures and challenges.', 'The potential for transformative growth in the face of divorce is explored, suggesting the use of psychedelics for empathetic resolution. Suggests the potential for transformative growth in the face of divorce, proposing the use of psychedelics for empathetic resolution.', 'The speaker reflects on the positive outcomes and personal growth that emerged from challenging experiences, such as having an alcoholic father. Reflects on the positive outcomes and personal growth that emerged from challenging experiences, such as having an alcoholic father.']}], 'duration': 1573.474, 'thumbnail': 'https://coursnap.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/video-capture/fUEjCXpOjPY/pics/fUEjCXpOjPY11894080.jpg', 'highlights': ["The speaker's morning routine includes working out for an hour, practicing jujitsu with law enforcement officers at 5 AM, followed by sauna or steam for 20 minutes, a cold plunge or shower, and a simple breakfast.", "The attorney's disciplined approach is highlighted, living life in six-minute increments and logging time throughout the day in tenths of an hour due to billing requirements.", 'The realization that love and its complexities are universal and transcends societal status and wealth, as it encompasses common insecurities and desires for validation.', 'The value of perseverance in relationships is emphasized, as people continue to pursue love despite past failures.', 'The potential for transformative growth in the face of divorce is explored, suggesting the use of psychedelics for empathetic resolution.']}], 'highlights': ["Successful relationships involve partners cheering for each other and having each other's backs, creating a feeling of unity and support.", 'Disconnection is highlighted as the primary cause of marital failure, attributing it to a multitude of small factors that accumulate over time.', 'The importance of feeling loved in a relationship through small gestures and honest communication is discussed.', 'Choosing to see beauty in relationships is a conscious practice that initially requires effort and mindfulness, but eventually becomes natural.', "Advocating for an 'us versus the world' mentality in relationships, encouraging candidness and acceptance of each other's quirks and fantasies.", 'The consequences of undisclosed fetishes impact relationships, leading to betrayal, distance, and potential divorce.', 'The importance of vulnerability and honesty in relationships is highlighted, with emphasis on being true to oneself and avoiding hiding aspects from a partner.', 'The importance of vulnerability in jujitsu and love, creating opportunities and progress by embracing vulnerabilities.', 'Rethinking relationships as significant chapters in life, challenging the binary view of success or failure.', "Infidelity's effect on divorce proceedings, proving wasteful dissipation of marital assets, legal implications of spending money on a paramour.", 'The maternal presumption shifted in the 1980s, altering custody battles dynamics.', 'The overwhelming majority of custody cases are negotiated between two parties.', 'The significance of presence and mindfulness in a romantic relationship is emphasized.', "The concept of 'you, me, and we' in relationships is explored.", 'The importance of developing individual selves and experiencing personal adventures is stressed.', 'The negotiation lesson from the movie scene emphasizes the importance of composure and calmness in dealing with conflicts, as demonstrated by the calm reaction of dangerous individuals, contrasting the ineffectiveness of empty threats.', "The concept of soulmates is discussed, emphasizing that a partner doesn't have to be perfect in every aspect, and that love is about intention and commitment, not about never disappointing one another.", 'The importance of distillation in interviewing and legal persuasion, focusing on the essence of a story or argument to present to a judge, which involves boiling down the most important aspects and identifying the greater principles.', "The need to understand and consider the other side's case in-depth, including their defenses, strengths, and strategy, while avoiding attributing unnecessary intelligence or strategy to their actions.", 'Experienced divorce lawyers employ strategic negotiation and planning to minimize conflict and reach favorable resolutions, drawing parallels to high-level chess and the ability to anticipate outcomes.', "The speaker's morning routine includes working out for an hour, practicing jujitsu with law enforcement officers at 5 AM, followed by sauna or steam for 20 minutes, a cold plunge or shower, and a simple breakfast.", 'The realization that love and its complexities are universal and transcends societal status and wealth, as it encompasses common insecurities and desires for validation.', 'The value of perseverance in relationships is emphasized, as people continue to pursue love despite past failures.']}